BazookaJules's Blog Posts

How do I go about reconnecting with my higher self and the universe?

There was a time in my life when I was full of unlimited love and forgiveness. I would get bullied at school to the point that I would cry myself to sleep and wake up the next day with forgiveness and hope for a better new day.

Hey, Love: You owe me some personal time.

Dear Hate: Please give me back the piece of my heart you stole from me.

What’s up God: Have you seen my faith? I think I lost it at your house last spring around Easter.

Doctor: Can we travel to the past so I enlighten myself about the future?

To my Drug Dealer Guy: I am taking my sobriety back, I need it in order to move on.

This document was created as an exploration of the following argument:

Roaming in between the worlds of sleep and awake
Seems so far away from where I've been and unsure but not afraid
Trusting my soul I know I must be taken to see the world that is
Not so far from now

Imaginations come and sweep the shores of my mind
Letting it be, visions pass, and emotions arise
Letting them go, and beyond are doors I've never seen, opening one by one

"We Live In A Society That Pays Respect To The Most Inane Of Characters. We Are Lead To Believe That What They Have To Say Has Importance Or Meaning, But Largely It's Just A Photo Opportunity. The 'Cult Of Celebrity' Means That People With The Most Limited Of Insight Or Talent Become The Privileged Members Of Our Society."

- Noodle, Rise Of The Orge from the T.V Show: Doctor Who

A long time ago when I realized my spiritual calling and attained a momentary experience of true enlightenment. I knew my own existence was bigger then myself. I knew in order to attain happiness and develop more as a spiritual being. I had to live in service of others.

Heal people.
Love people.
Teach people.

Help humanity elevate it’s spiritual awareness.

I have spent the last 7 years getting fucked up to deal with a lot of emotional pain. I was meditating the other day and this thought came to mind. In my life I have done things to hurt people … 8 out of 10 times it’s totally by mistake.

I often run and hide and fight my own destiny. I know the only way for me to attain enlightenment, reach my full potential, and be the best of myself is to heal humanity and live a life in service to others.

Short, Sweet and to the Point.

I got some really awesome advice over the weekend from a this really cool guy named Matt. He is really in touch with his zen as I would put it.

He spoke about how to attain clarity and calm in any situation is by seeing the Simple Basic Truth of the situation.

Asking myself questions like:
What is happening in the here and now?
What is my role in this situation?

( I originally posted this as a comment for Meg Rivers’ blog / post about a dream study. If anyone has gotten to read Y:The Last Man please post your comments and thoughts about the series.)

There is a Graphic Novel series called Y: The Last Man.

All my life I have experienced opening up to people and each person I ever opened up to would take anything I shared with them and use it to emotionally hurt me. Some people would use personal information as blackmail or use it to spread rumors about me. Then came a point when I viewed opening up to people as weakness and stupidity.

All my life normal people have labeled me with harsh and cruel words.

Weirdo
Freak
Strange
Abnormal
Queer

The list goes on and the words get more profane and degrading.

Also.

People get upset at me or yell at me when I express my feelings, especially when people do not agree or dislike what I have to say.

It’s not normal to be able to know things before they happen because you had a dream about it.

Here is an account of when my dreams happen in reality:

Over the summer I planned on attending this Rooftop party in Brooklyn. I was trying to decide the night before if I wanted to bring a quarter of an oz of weed with me to smoke at the party.

Is there a place where you make eye contact with someone and they look at you with a smile on their face?

Is there a part of the world where people will be able to see my soul and see I am a beautiful girl?

I imagine that one day I will fit in a space and no one would want me to be replaced.

Could it be in Paris.
Could it be in London.
Could it be in Tokyo or Sydney.

"You know what I have discovered? The brain prefers love. That's why we love to be in love—because it feels so good. We love love. So why not just feed yourself love?" - Willie Smith

In my dream I was working in a café in a city made of marble, sliver and diamonds. A man walks in with a suit, high tops, a long over coat and spiked hair. He asks me what’s good and I serve him green sparkling coffee with cake that’s floating above the plate. This amuses the man.

The café has two other costumers sitting and eating at separate tables who are regular patrons.

As of late I am slowly meeting new kinds of people. I am slowly meeting people who actually like, adore, and love me for me.

- I am called smart because I found ways to over come my disability and people with normal brains are in awe with the knowledge and skill I have. Normal brained people want to learn from me. This is a first.

Once I see the corruption behind things it’s hard to maintain the attraction to it.
Once I saw how people’s drive to create a community filled with bohemian idea’s. I realize the middle finger these communities are supposed to be giving to ‘normal’ society the middle finger is being pointed to the people supporting Said Community.

Ignorance is bliss.