leener's Blog Posts

for J.D.

i want to lay on the ground with you
and watch the sky flicker above
the horizon turn from pink to red
to orange and deep indigo
dipping down to reveal her sweetest secrets
as the night appears above us
and the earth hugs us from below
to feel our place between gods first breath
and our last moment
a blink of an eye
in the life of the stars
yet here we are
here we are

You've opened my eyes
to a world inside you
a world I never knew existed
someplace beyond this earthly realm
that I never dared to dream about
You bring together all of the hope
all of the love
all of the ideals
that I have ever witnessed
and exalted them beyond my wildest dreams.
You are the mirror
through which I can see God.

For what more is this search for love

Someone was pointing out to me the fundamentals of brain chemistry in the underlying pathology of depression. This is something I know too well and do experience that dip from time to time. But I tend to think of brain chemistry as only one spoke in the wheel, albeit an important one.

take me
break me
don't forsake me
wake me
nothing else but you
can slake me

you opened
this flood
my blood
transfixed
you inspire
indescreet desire
my fiery boat
through the river styx

Bound and burned
your soul has yearned
nothing more than finding
someone else to do the binding

touch
fantastic
penetrate
pyroclastic

through you, through me
through time and space

I've been dreaming of water. Every night a new dream. On the water. In the water. Under the water. Drinking water. The most disturbing dreams were of being in a boat and seeing something akin to rogue waves swell up and threaten to engulf the entire boat. In reality, I have a secret fear of the open ocean.

I do not belong to you

I do not belong to me

I belong to the world

And I am here to heal you

You

So beautiful , the feel of your aura

Moves me before you even touch me

I spontaneously respond to your closeness

My molecules rearrange to reach out to you

Every cell in my body moves and shifts in your direction

What happens when we touch?

At the subatomic level

If we traveled down past what we see or hear or feel

To observe the changes we’ve made in each other

No attachment to any outcome. Just the journey.

Attachment is where things get tangled and messy.

We can come together, merge, melt, then move away. That's okay.

No expectations.

Love is enough. It can entwine us, we can move within and around love, be what we are meant to be.

But it doesn't have to mean forever.

In that frame of being, marriage makes no sense.

I've become fascinated lately with a phenomenon called "Hado." It's a word coined by a Japanese scientist, Dr. Masaru Emoto that means "wave" and "move." The principle of Hado is relatively simple but the implications of it are mind-blowing.

Because of the nasty weather here in Virginia, I spent hours curled up in bed watching TV last night. That's unusual for me. Usually, I'm curled up with my laptop or with one of the several dozen books I'm reading at any given time. I call it multi-tasking but you can call it distractibility. You say tomato, I say whatever...