I have premonitory dreams sometimes. They're always more vivid and striking than my regular dreams. I had a dream last fall about rivers and canals of a horrible toxic slurry of many colors, very vivid, glowing, almost superliminous. I had never seen anything like it before; I thought it was a symbol of the ultimate impurity and corruption, toxic to everything it touches.
Based on my interaction with my Evolver friend Meg about my last blog post ("How I Achieved Financial Freedom"), maybe I understated my case. I did because to fully state my case would require for me to fully tell that old story, and I don't like to tell it, because telling it goes back to it, and going back to it runs the risk of falling back into those vibrations and patterns of thought.
I remembered it. Several years ago. I was standing in a bleak office room with an awful neutral wall color dotted by pinned-up pages of financial-speak. The fluorescent lights glared down on me and some other students who also seemed affected by the vibe. We were waiting in line to approach a partitioned desk.
Desire, desire, desire
It moves in me, and it moves me
Strip away all my ideas about myself
and what I want and need,
and it's still there, just as it's always been there
from the first time I sucked my momma's breast
to the last time I sucked my lover's
So if there's something in me that's bad,
to stop, to get out,
it must not be my desire
but something that keeps it from being free
I've heard a lot about synchronicity in people's journeys onto Evolver. I was thinking about mine, and there are a few pretty obvious synchronicities in it!
I've been surprised to find out that, since my amazing experience of the oneness of everything and me a few weeks ago, the love, the awesomeness, the perfectness of all that is, the perfect suited-ness of my life history and all the pain and frustration I've been through to lead me to that awareness--since then I've still been able to get frustrated, sad, bummed out, or feeling like I'm missing so
"Banish the word 'struggle' from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
We are the ones we have been waiting for." — Hopi elders
