"Banish the word 'struggle' from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. We are the ones we have been waiting for." — Hopi elders
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"When is it okay to judge another?"
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August 25, 2010
Sometimes when I explain my views to others, they get defensive and explain what they assert is an acceptable level of judgment of others. I'm here to say go for it...but I choose differently. The short answer: It is always "okay" for you to judge; I just choose not doing so. I would not judge you for doing so...that would defeat the purpose. So no need to get defensive, right?
I see all judgment as a limit on myself on the capacity to enjoy other people and appreciate what they offer to my experience. It accomplishes nothing but to focus on something that doesn't bring me joy.
But there is a difference between discernment and judgment. I had a friend break ties with some people who had been a bad influence and source of drama. As you may know, it is not emotionally easy to make the decision to "leave friends behind". They responded angrily, accusing her of judging them and looking down on them...but there is an obvious difference between:
"They're trashy druggies, always getting into trouble."
and
"Here's a situation with a lot of unhealthy substances and habits I'm going to remove myself from."
It's all about you. You, and that which you desire. Can you name a time in your life where the judgment of another led to your increased enjoyment of life, or brought you closer to something you wanted? And remember, if someone judges you for not judging (lol), just love them and thank them silently for reminding you why you're so much happier not doing so!
namaste
Comments
Debtors make judgments
— Sep 08, 2010
Many people don't recognize when the judgment is being made let alone recognize the results as part of ones own pathology. This is in part what is implied when one appears to be "suffering the past or illusion of the future". There still seems to be a disconnect when this implies not being present to the now. You hear people talk about the now, but then often take positions. Judgment comes in the form of statements based on their opinions. Anytime we take a position it by default creates a counter-position, or in the commercial world a claim/counter-claim which creates a potential liability. In the commercial world whoever creates the liability has to bring the remedy. In other words the onus is on you to defend your position and prove it. In common parlance it could be said that if one makes a judgment and takes a position, they must now defend it and this is a prelude to warfare. If one can say their intentions are peaceful and pure, can they be in the business of making judgments and counter-positions?
Three Useful Tools: We want to establish facts for the record, but it is best to be careful making positive statements (that may have to be proven); instead, whoever is making demands, put it on them (whoever they are) to make positive statements - make them prove it.
1) Negative Averment: An averment that is negative in form but affirmative in substance that must be proved by the alleging party. “There is no evidence that I am not correct in this matter and there is no evidence that you are not wrong in this matter, and I don’t believe that any such evidence exists.” You’re stating what is not; not what is.
2) Confession & Avoidance: A response in which the accused admits (via passive acquiescence) the allegations but asks for additional facts that deprive the admitted facts of an adverse legal effect. Accusation: "Is this your signature on this document?" Response(s): "Is there a defect in that instrument?" “Well tell me the defect is and I’ll correct it.” “Well, if there is no defect in the instrument, then why are you here?” “Why should I answer your question when you can’t even answer mine?” “Are you telling me that you are not even qualified to make any determinations on that negotiable instrument?" “Why are you here?”
3) Conditional Acceptance: A response, in honor without argument, that is a counter-offer. The only offer that is ever relevant is the one on top. Offer: "Let's go to town and go shopping." Counter-offer(s): "Sure, just come over and help me finish cleaning up the kitchen first." "I'll accept that upon proof of bona-fide claim in the form of a signed affidavit by you under penalty of perjury and under your own personal, unlimited commercial liability within 30 days."
"Seek not abroad, turn back into thyself, for in the inner man dwells the truth..."
Self-awareness- generally aware
— Sep 22, 2010
when you judge you are making yourself ignorant to the truth
Not just its okay, its allso
— Sep 28, 2010
Not just its okay, its allso natural. Making the judge about something and someone is basic intelectul right and need of human being.
Problem is a lot of people try to enforce their judgment upon others, non the less that judgemenat does not have influence upon themselfs what so ever. Allso problem is telling about concluson of your judgement, not everybody is interested or should know anything about your judgment.. that why its YOUR judgement, it should serve yourself and anyone who is INTERESTED, but you cant enforce it on folks.
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