Dominant Female Provides Balance

Hi Amy. You are quite an intense woman. Most of my interests, fantasies, and dreams involve me as a submissive with a Beautiful, Strong, Demanding, Strict, Dominant female. Pleasing her and totally giving myself to her is paramount. Thoughts? Comments?
Sincerely, Señor

Hi Señor. Thank you for sharing.

The basic dynamics of submission & dominance are universal. Submission is to balance as dominance is to power. There are parts of your identity that are chronically imbalanced. The dominant female figure is really demanding balance. Mother Mary is the dominant female who brings balance to the Father, Son & Holy Ghost.

The dominant female of your inner-life is a personification of your inner-woman. A man’s inner-woman personifies his balance, emotions, and life-force. A man (or woman) experiences a compulsion to submit to a dominant woman to the extent that he is alienated from his balance, emotions, and life-force.

A man needs to integrate the dominant female figure to be whole. However, he often remains on a treadmill, never progressing toward said wholeness due to his hyper-sexuality toward the feminine, and the aggression he has engendered in becoming “masculine.” Working around these to integrate the power of the dominant female figure is a long-term process, but it can be done by sublimating libido into creativity or something else non-sexual, and through increased self-awareness.

Consciously, a man may wish to give every bit of himself to his lover, but there may be parts of himself he cannot give because they have never been realized; they became unconscious as he grew up patterning himself after the men around him. If his identity and experience have not buried the innate receptivity of his child-self too deeply – and if his receptivity wants to be known – a dominant woman is likely to spontaneously emerge from his psyche to force him to be receptive. Submitting to this figure, however, will not solve anything in the long term. It maintains his imbalance. Submitting to balance, emotions and life-force is a panacea to the dominant female. Into this submission, she dissolves, and is thence reborn as a man’s receptivity, creativity, wisdom and eros.

Many women hunger to love the receptivity of their men – some too much, to the point of being smothering - but no matter how intimate the relationship, the man’s receptivity may be unreachable; buried under a lifetime of masculine imprinting. A man who tries to express his buried receptivity to his partner may well come off as foolish, pathetic and undesirable, so he may turn to a dominant female to experience his receptivity. Ironically, though he is submitting to her, she is serving him; serving his receptivity. The man’s receptivity is the actually the dominant actor between a submissive male & a dominant female; so his receptivity is not totally authentic. It’s pretend, which is not bad or good, but the point is that it could be realer. He may own his receptivity more than he does through role-playing and fantasy, though these may be safe places to explore it.

The man who has integrated his balance, emotions, and life-force has equal complements of power, wisdom and eros. He is a man among boys. He is the eventuality of spiritual evolution, the New Adam.

This is just a general outline, Señor. If you have further points to discuss, I would be glad to offer input, especially since this area is very important to me, and I would probably learn a lot from the process.

Recently, a dream about the area we are discussing was submitted to my blog, and the entry about it may have relevance for anyone with interest in submission & dominance. Here’s the link.

All best,

Amy

After replying to Señor I had this dream:

I am in a slightly creepy neighborhood with a gross, cellar beer hall and with a gang of guys in black and dark-orange-sleeved football jackets, the kind high-schoolers wear. I am wary on being on their turf. A guy wearing an innocuous looking blue-purple shirt comes up to me. We exchange a greeting. I am acting coy. He is not a native English speaker. “Do you want chain?” he asks. I wonder whether he is saying, “chain” or “change.” “What?” I respond. He repeats his question and so do I.

It is clear that the dream is filling me in on Señor. His “neighborhood,” i.e., his milieu is macho, with a sense of uniformity and territorialism that does not appeal to me. Yet, he does stand out from the background as innocuous and friendly. Though he tries to speak my language, he doesn’t manage it so well. And, yes, I embrace change always, but no, I don’t want to be chained to anything or anyone. Perhaps his question, “Do you have chain?” means, “Do you have a chain for binding me?”

Dreams keep me informed about what is happening behind the scenes. Whatever comes onto my waking-life radar emerges in dreams. The collective unconscious makes this possible. We become one through the collective unconscious, all of us merging into the same ocean. The same ocean that flows through you flows through me; and it knows you just as it knows me. In this way, it is omniscient.

Imagine being able to harness the power of this omniscience. It is done through submission to it – not through domination of it. Its priorities subsume ours despite any of our efforts.