I'm going to read and write myself off the deep end!
posted by River | August 31, 2010
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IcerocketI've realized enough about time and the nature of the soul to seriously unhinge my attachments to ordinary duality. The cascading affirmations and meta-affirmations that I've learned almost nothing about what life really is, reinforce intuitions I've carried silently in careful check through my entire life. I am not who I've been taught I was. And neither are you. This realization is terribly exciting! Sometimes I lose myself in it lately. (which is a little frightening because I feel like we're supposed to lose ourselves together) I feel like my disguise is wearing thin. My copious patience is running out with systems designed to isolate us and maintain our behavior; the very one's I've been trained to design. This sheep's clothing is increasingly hot and sticky and uncomfortable! Oh what a good boy am I, Oh what a good man am I, Oh what a good dad am I...
I feel like flash barnacles, unscrewing the hull of civilization. I feel like a ninja monkey lathing the driveshaft of culture as it spins. I feel inspired and close, and I keep falling deeply in love with everyone I meet. I just want to live in the wild! again making reality up freely with my beautiful lost tribe... he says, as the tears fill his eyes. Is he okay? I know some of you have been through this already. Any words of wisdom while waiting? (besides breathe? rrwaaaaahhhh!) p.s. Have you seen my fear anywhere lately? I seem to have wholeheartedly misplaced it!
Image credit:
http://shirt.woot.com/derby/entry.aspx?id=11253
I haven't figured how to embed Vimeos on Evolver.net yet. So here's a link to the latest vid-sync:
http://vimeo.com/13215028
Comments
well shiver me timbers!
— Sep 01, 2010
I've never heard of a soul who wanted to walk the plank. Good luck!
That's funny!
— Sep 01, 2010
I hadn't thought of it that way before. I guess it's a question of which ship I'm jumping from and what I'm jumping into! It's exactly 4:20 as I write this and I am sober, mostly.
Like getting off the
— Sep 01, 2010
Like getting off the citizenship; or surety-ship and setting your own sails?
"Seek not abroad, turn back into thyself, for in the inner man dwells the truth..."
Eggzactly!
— Sep 02, 2010
To take that flying leap right off the ship full of self-certainty, but to do so more as an inner gesture for now. There's actually a lot of exciting stuff going on in my town, so I'll keep my hat over my ears a bit longer.
No hospitals for me!
— Sep 01, 2010
lol! I picked up a local kundalini yoga class flyer from the coffee shop yesterday. Now I'm going to take a closer look at the class times and registration info. Yes, I had a balls-out kundalini experience in 2000. I got to see the matrix in code and light for a whole month before I even learned the k word. It's been chill for ten years now. But y'all are stirring this up again. Keep stirring!
Go W!LD
— Sep 02, 2010
in sync
— Sep 02, 2010
Wow, thank you for this explosive post - short but eloquent and full of energy! Interestingly enough, maybe to expect in this forum, I feel very much in sync with this post. Lately I have had a similar feeling in life, a strong experience of change and that I am changing, that I was never who I thought I was and I have no idea what I am evolving into... But it feels good =)
Something is in the air...
on life and living
I accept that the answer to the question “who am I?” is eternal
A larger sync?
— Sep 02, 2010
I got on Facebook today and found this sentiment or vibration reflected in a variety of different ways by people I am friends with there. I wonder what the heck they're up to at Burning Man!? Something in the air alright. ;) Oh, and I never got to thank you properly for the Elephant! Thank you!
Update 25 min. later: Check this link! Unreal.
definetely!
— Sep 03, 2010
WOW - that is all I have to say - I saw in your comment below that you had a month of "seeing" in 2000, which is returning now - exactly the same thing has happened to me. For a month in the year 2000 I was, like you say, seeing the code in the Matrix - I even found the word "Matrix" written on the ground with small branches when I walked in the forest.... And now, just 5 days ago, I just saw my first ghost since I was a child =)
I loved your comment on the Elephant-post, was laughing loud to myself, unfortunately quite a bit later than you posted it - I was offline (on vacation) for a while... The elephant is in the room and something big is in the air, at Burning Man and everywhere... Things are happening, just like the Mayas (amongst others) predicted...
Wow am I glad to connect with you =)
with love!
S
on life and living
I accept that the answer to the question “who am I?” is eternal
ZEN
— Sep 02, 2010
I've been reading Zen and The Art of Motorcycle maintenance lately, and the past few pages I've read expound on what female warrior was talking about. A system of thought, logic and philosophy, essentially a way of existing, put in place by ancient greek philosophers, the mythos-over-logos. But even the mythos is not what animates our culture and evolution, it is our Essence, our Wild Nature, that animates and develops the mythos. That is why recurring themes have developed all through-out history and throughout the world. Because underlying it all is The Truth, bursting at the seams. I sometimes feel like a ninja monkey too!
"Among animals, I am the lion." -- Lord Krishna
Heya ninjA!
— Sep 02, 2010
"The quality that can be spoken is not the eternal quality" I love that book.! The disdain for aluminum shims among the BMW owners, lol! Yes I believe we are truly wild and this aspect of our nature is the animating force of life, And furthermore, I feel that it has deep intelligence. I was very fortunate to have spent a LOT of direct experience in the woods in my youth, so no one had the chance to convince me that it was alien. Well said!
fluid dream
— Sep 02, 2010
Exactly! BRAVO- beautiful. yes, i feel that we can imagine reality into form since it's all a fluid dream. Kinda shamanic lucid dreaming in where take Ramana Maharshi words to heart: There's dreamtime dream #1, and this waking world dream #2... it's all dream. Or Adyashanti's phrase: "Every moment is fresh and unconditioned-- until we believe otherwise." So why I've been devoting my time to a near-term science fiction story that anyone can participate in (interactive story) so we can crystallize the future we want to walk into.
I'd like to get to point in this "story" below where the tribe (and there'd be multitudes of diverse clans) can sing into existence at will, and simply create/make stuff up as they go:
http://evelynrodriguez.typepad.com/crossroads_dispatches/2007/07/buildin...
thanks for your exuberance!
"cREATION iS Only the pROJection into foRm of thAt whiCh already EXists"-Srimad Bhagavatam, 9th century
Bestill my heart!
— Sep 02, 2010
I wrote in comment just a couple weeks ago: "They always quoth that architecture is frozen music. Well, what happens when it all thaws out? Hold your ears!" Your link leads to some very beautiful ideas. You actually might be interested in exploring this quite new evolver group? And I am very interested in following along with your story, thank you!
not just yet I hope, somewhat perplexedly
— Sep 02, 2010
Wild Magick is right around the corner and many of my midwestern kin will be here dancing and drumming and sharing stories. There's a lot of exciting stuff going on that I'll need a proper body for! That looks like a very interesting website, however.
I had forgotten how fun it can be to blog.
— Sep 02, 2010
It's heartwarming to hear from you all dear friends!
Much love to my In Lak'ech ala evolver k'in.
We are all connected!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVwdBCb8S1I
Love the Post, River
— Sep 02, 2010
Such great feedback too... thanks to all for the responses, I've enjoyed all these great links today!
It's been such a joy (and relief!) to share the experiences of TCUP etc. with you.. hell of a dream, and some rough landings waking up, and the visions are beautiful beyond wonder and tears..
Your friend in Life-Love-Light ~Dani
This seems a nice follow-up to this conversation, lol!
— Sep 02, 2010
The real-time burning man is lit up at 11ish pm at http://www.ustream.tv/burningman
One of my brightest elf-friends posted this video on Facebook just a little while ago:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dr3q6Cid1po
Just few hours later, my new friend ST posted http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=147225531967041
Time has my attention! http://imaginingthetenthdimension.blogspot.com/2010/08/flow-and-now.html
i love your energy man and
— Sep 03, 2010
i love your energy man and my entire being laughs, sings, and loves with you. I know how you feel that we need to loose ourselves together but for the time at hand i saw continue to loose your self and show others get lost then its no fun (you would think gettin lost would be "easy" but. when you go back to the "wild" my face will be among the crowd of the others in the lost tribe.
I totally grok you
— Sep 03, 2010
It's a matter of time which must be navigated mindfully. I'm thankful for a space to write myself out there, but I'm equally conscious of the necessity of being here. I look forward to meeting you.
Wowser...
— Sep 03, 2010
It's amazing...I'm feeling it too as though the unhinging is happening, the fringes are becoming frayed, there is that Wild and stirring now. I'm really sensing the significance of bifurcating of shared reality, i think that it is "ok"... I have to admit.
I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't believed it.
the peaks
— Sep 03, 2010
Your beautiful. The waking up to compassion and love..the heart that has become and is becoming ever tenderized...ravishing.
don't think it is all about sailing away though...ground yourself as well...walk on the dry land.
Another metaphor?
Dive into the density and explode it with your Love Light.
We are here to release the sparks...we go up to get refreshed and we come down to refresh.
We ride the whole spectrum...within increasing grace. We have the keys to heaven and hell...we become adept at using our keys at every door we encounter.
Time is our playing field. Eternal is what we are.
Dance, dance, dance. <3
xoxo
stormy
hey River
— Sep 03, 2010
we've been conditioned to believe that it's dangerous "out there" when the reality is that the world that has been created around us is where it's scarey - I think that the elemental beings that we are and the gaian energy surrounding us continues to struggle to connect so however it works best for you River baby - just don't stop. You know, if we were actually living as beings in tune with our surroundings we would of been training and learning from birth as naturally as we breathed air - unfortunately we are beaten-up old warriors having to adapt and learn as we go along in our journey to return to our wild ways. I honour the warrior in you that walks the path.
That's a lot of groks!
— Sep 03, 2010
(Hey elizabeth! Hey Stormy, Nathan and Dani, astockar)
I must have said something interesting! Now I feel a little shy but profoundly grateful. I really do love the space of evolver where we can weave our tales, spin new stories together, and find missing pieces of the puzzle most unexpectedly.
In a book I'm currently reading, which has more than a little to do with the theme of this post, it is said that the mayans will dance thirteen times around the fire in one direction to unwind the spool of time, then 13 times in the other to wind it back up again.
So I'm going to take some of your good advice and read and write myself back from the edge a little bit.
This book also says that a period called "the purification" marked by warnings and increasing awareness, began in August of 2001 and will end in September 2010! (That's now!) The period from September 23, 2010 to December 20, 2012 will be called "the definition."
This book is called "The Book of Destiny; Unlocking the Secrets of the Ancient Mayans and the Prophecy of 2012" by Carlos Barrios. I have read some of the Arguelles material about the Mayans, and some of Johann Calleman as well. I resonate with Calleman moreso than Arguelles. But this book resonated so strongly with me that it made me cry quite a lot with a deep sense of soul recognition. The information seems very authentic to me and I'm totally fascinated by it. So I'm sharing this book recommendation on the hunch that it may resonate with you too.
<3 and thaank you!
dancing in Lak'ech,
River
