Help needed

the book "Hero with a thousand faces" by Joseph Campbell really helped me when I felt archetypal death/rebirth things were acting out through my life. That, along with the non-dualist/enlightenment ideas in Adyashanti's "Emptiness Dancing" helped me anchor the teachings from altered state experiences by reminding me that what is essentially me, is eternal. All else can be stripped away, all limiting perspectives eventually die and the underlying light will always shine through.

It may be terrifying when you feel like you're "dying" especially with entheogenic agents, but just remember that it's OK to shed the skin, let old concepts of the limited, attached self go, because the deepest you is eternal. It's also useful to think of being in the present moment as that place between death and rebirth, where creation is constantly happening. Any attachment to a particular version of the self, as something and not all things, will suck one into the illusion of projections. To be fully in the moment is to be constantly dieing and rebirthing in each moment. It's about returning to the original face of innocence, wonder, awe and wonder - pure awareness of the mystery, without concepts to blind us from the true, ineffable, paradoxical, immanent, divine reality.

Hope that helps, it helped me get through some tough times, but always rewarding.

I also concur, the people at SEN are great.
One of the Grof's finest works.

Hi Manicman, this may sound odd or off-putting or unproductive, and if it does feel free to ignore. But you're looking for a practical technique, and barring the availability of other potential remedies, I'll tell you what I used to do when I got "so fucking stuck". Go to a private space, anywhere you feel comfortable that no one can see you or hear you or identify you or interrupt you. Then open your mouth and scream. Don't hold back. Make it as loud and raw and unfiltered and thoughtless as you can allow yourself to. You'll know when to stop.

Then go back to your meditation and feel the calm being, with nothing to obtain or fear.

Jason.

Hi Manicman,
I'd love to hear more description of what the "shamanic death rebirth in your psyche" means for you. What are the signs telling you this is occurring? What are you feeling? What events are taking place? How did you feel different before than you do now? Can you articulate what the new feeling or perspective is that you sense coming into your life? Was there a situation (internal or external) that you feel lead you towards the rebirth taking place now? Obviously, you don't have to have the answers to these questions now to know that big change is taking place, but I found these questions helpful to ask myself when I was going through possibly a similar situation.
I personally went through a major rebirth/awakening in 1998 when I was just out of college. My experience was triggered by a sudden (and very sobering) realization that I no longer knew myself (For the record, there were no mind-altering substances involved. This was just a straight up crisis). Upon that moment of realization, I searched my mind for the last time something truly made me happy - the last time I truly LIKED something, regardless of other's views and persuasions. When I found I couldn't remember, I then had an hour-long nervous breakdown in which I eventually passed out and had a dream that forever changed my life. The dream showed me how it felt to be me before I knew there was a "me" to take into consideration. The perspective was experiencing the world through the eyes of a child. Feeling completely in the moment, with no self-consciousness, nor time-awareness. It was a perspective that had eluded me for potentially 7 years or more, without fully realizing it (I just always felt there was something *missing*) Yet, this dream gave me a reference point towards a state of consciousness that I knew I needed to pursue above all else in my life at that time, and so I began studying free-diving (prolonged breathold diving) in an attempt to recapture the vision I experienced in the dream. What I did not realize was that this would teach me how to meditate. Sure enough, this process of diving, which included slowing down my thoughts and metabolism, brought me back to the headspace I had in my dream, and at the same time, synchronicity in my life increased ten-fold. The more times throughout the day I consciously tried to recall that feeling of calm heightened awareness, the more that feeling became ingrained in me.
I don't know if this is anything like what you are experiencing (as I'm sure emotional rebirths are different for everybody), but if it is, reminding myself to mentally slow down (whether through yoga, diving, swimming, or randomly stopping to breath deeply in the middle of the day) helped me immensely. Writing music also helped me to solidify these feelings and perspectives into a solid form that I could understand better myself, as well as share with others. I'm sure any artistic medium could do this, as could words (keeping a journal became a daily ritual for me around that time).
Complimentary books I was reading during that time included Shakti Gawain's "Path of Transformation" and "Living in the Light" (especially her "world as your mirror" philosophy) eventually followed by Chögyam Trungpa's "Shambhala - the Sacred Path of the Warrior".

So now that I've gone on a story telling tangent *laugh*, I would love to hear yours, if you'd like to share it :)
Peace!
- Eartha -