I blame Derrick Jensen. In his book - Endgame II: Resistance - he lays down a thorough analysis of the abusive dynamics and how pacifism relates to this, over three chapters. I've picked out a few particularly salient quotes from each chapter, but I REALLY encourage you all to read the full chapters themselves:
PART I
http://www.endgamethebook.org/Excerpts/25%20-%20Pacifism%20I.html