What's been keeping me

I've not had the internet for a while now, i've been having to rely on my phone among other things. It's given me a lot of time to sort things out and learn a couple new skills.

I did some past life regressions and i've tried to heal a particular life the best I can. I see the wrongs of what i've done then, I also see how it's effecting me currently.

I know I burned alive in my house by choice to stand up for my beliefs. I was reunited in this life with my "little sister" whom is about 6 1/2 years older than me this time around, what's funny is the recall; I was calling her my little sister when I was a toddler. (Female)

I was drowning, watching the surface of the water rush away with my hand raised towards it. This is an unhealed part of my "shadow" at the time being, i've yet to figure more into it, but it's believed I was male.

I was an ancestor of mine; Sigurd Snake In The Eye. My left eye bears an oroboros upon close inspection. (Male)

I died in France from decapitation, I don't know why. I just know I was reading the paper one moment and then the next someone had chopped my head off with an axe. (Male)

My most recent life before this one was a suicide. It's involved months of trying to heal it, trying to work through it. I was brought back nineteen years later with the same karmic issues and a new task shown in my numerology - The chore of the 11 life path. I had crashed my car purposely over the fact that my life had gone awry and "she doesn't love me issues". It looked like I had tried to make it look like the rain that had been falling hydroplaned my '67 muscle car. I saw myself on the steel table, half-way covered by a white sheet in a dark room. Wondering what had happened brought the scene of a mangled GTO in view. Trying to help this mangled part of me has been taking up a lot of energy. (Male)

I was given a set of runes by my sister this July and the first time I used them it'd been like i've been using them my whole life. They're an interesting route going away from the Tarot I was accustomed to. They lead me this morning to a mini epiphany, my best friend whom i've had these ridiculous feelings for, deep deep close feelings of need and want, feelings i've been trying to forget forever that won't leave... is my balance partner.

While i'm still trying to wrap my head around this, it's really a weird feeling, almost feeling alienated. Hm. It is a little funny though that I didn't see this before, we both come to each other with ideas for meditations/growth and we both are constantly confiding in each other lately. I always had a feeling I had to do something for her because I felt so close, I had to protect or guard her, or lead her. Maybe my life path will come into some use. Now to get this silly notion of mushy emotions out of my head. Love, nah.. No, really i'm probably in denial.