Thursday, December 11, 2008 it’s 2:30 in th emorning! almost a full moon . . . it does funny things; writen y candle n dar C

it’s 2:30 in th emorning! almost a full moon . . . it does funny things; writen y candle n dar
Current mood: knighted
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
(i'm posting this before i have a chance to reread it_ ___>

jjhhj

so it really seemed like a dream . . .

i didn't eallly have an agenda set for muself or the crew

so we loaded up and went to the place of renewal - the beach ...i couldnet tell what was really real
was i dreaming . . .
the waves, the wavews
we say in a triangle and decided it was time for it to really kick in . . .

so one safeyl stick came out . . . i got lost in my own world until suddenly it was staring me in the face...
i was practicing being at peace, being still, being aware - but i felt like i was fallin short, falling short, ove and over . . .
i could not focus like i remember...
i was trying to gihure out why we were there - what we were ghoin to get out of it . . . what could we learn - w what could i learn for myselg...

well...

... i'm not sure what happened...
it was like i got caught in a time portal worm hole - i hot sucked in and was not sure how i would get out... how could i even communicate... how could mu words from my time frame reach the others when they had to listen from another dimentsion . . . how could those vast diffectences be mitigated... ........

wasot - wjat is all going on here...it more than just that... it is so difficult to unstand, to intereprete = let alone convey the meaning of the message through medicums that really doint exist in this world. so what do you really want me to do??? you have to go out and have some situations yourself . . . you dream to be yourself, but aybe dream a little bit more, a little futher than what you've allowed yourself to undertake up to this point- not for me, but for our childrens, chilfrens, children . . . ...... is that me or the mooody blues talking ? L_)

well, the winds were quite variable, but the wabes were consistantlu latrger than normal; they were / life was a little more than normal - were it to exist in the first place, cause from were we were looking, it was difficult to discern maya from maya from reality from maya . . . you know?> there was just so mcuch foin on goin on. yeah, stuff was going on.

i was having fun squirming like a melgin candle into the toastl december sands..... i also really needed a massage -0 no i needed yogas

but back to this lacj of vernacular for the wormhole... how to make an attempt to write what i grokked... wait - what did i grok, you know.? i can't really say... i guess some kind of insight into the ultimate or true nature of the universe... maybe . . .... thismahnificent hologram .... yes, it was obvious that there was much allusion in our lives, our workd, or desires, our, walls, out self cretaed and alloweod misgivings that keep us just content enough to maintain... whateve r it is that we attempt to maintain....

but the serpent was within...

and so was i. and so were they.

we all were existingin our own separate universes that we created afyter years of living on this palnet... this included many (optical) illusions... preoducts of our overactive imagination/ or 'blinders' you could say as well...

so i was not focuesed.. my mind was on the wvbes, getting puilled back to my self, my own self conscious attitude... so accutely aware of my own surroundings - too much of the subjective roadblock and not detaccefed from "the person gettin gin the way"

oh, this is often the rosdblock . . . when you are forced to look at what you are feeling and wehn you look at yourself and the world, and yout interegrations of all those vastely differenet concepts, realites , worlds, and mentalites, as well as idealogyies, dogmas, stereotypes, and in generall all the figments of our brains that tells us that we have to stop our selves here, because here is the line in the snad, and here is where we draw it if we want to remain comfortable....if we a we want to maintain what standard of living we have created for out selves up to this point...

so , i suddenly was (again) burdened with the weight of the owrlrd on my shoulders... i was Atlas on th beaches of a the meditarraneon and here i was, goin about holding the world - no perhaps i was hercules, and atleas had tricked me into taking the burden of this planet up on my being . . . well, we a a hmmm do .. .. is this the only way? isn't there somethhing else that could be worked out . . . . i would lie another arranehment... i mean, i'll do it if i have to, but this must really all be shared equally... o rmaybe am i really not the one doing a thing and this is y butden to pick up . . .no.. it really seems like i am hold something... holding it up? holding on to it? hiding it? supporting it? feeinging ing ing it. invubating it - not letting this task be assigned somewhere else... ode to my shoulders, sore and frayed... s tender and hardy from the wear and tear of carrying my rucksack...
i eoulf lobr yo lte fo, if only for a little while . .. i'm not doing any tricks here , hercules's . . . but how do we ... how do we all share this load??? supporting each other sure helps out... how can i hlelp...

days of Future past . .. that's what this is...
it seemed like, when i was really still, i was close to my higher self - ten miles high; but this also removed me from time/space... i wass able to be experiencing for a higher persepecvtivbe.... and just as when you get elevate and earth you physical visual perspective increaes, so too when i was my higher self, my TIME perspective wass able to perviebe well in to the past or future as i saw fir had i been able to have any control considering it was only the second time i can remember being in that specific realm and it must have been eight yerts agao eons ago so that alternate reality for not east for me to manuver in -- yet i hope and though it was extremely confusinh and could even be described as " as as miimickin sycosis it was it's own vlassroom as ll the others.... those realms thatneed navigators and explores and mappers and coordinaters and observesdrs and teachers and studrents and studrens and studnts and maybe even a studnts or two.... dream a little dream for me....

...................
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was i even able to talk to people? weren't my words just getting caught intime and waiting about 8 yeats before they popped up into YOUT reality . . . was anybody hearing me? my heas hears when they don't see lips moving, and not hearing when i see andbody making an attemp to talk...
i guesss we are all universe-- that's why all oge our realities can be diggerent, because we all use different lenses to obsertve and sense the world....

what were we doing there? what we we doing there... why did this pass thru our lives . . . when would the craziness pass . . . i needed a notebook to write this sycotic movie down, to hit the record button as much as possible...oh, but then you take yourselg out of the mostinteresting sighhts, as you have to climb out of the spiral a little bit....when you are further down the spirals it's not really possible to even fax a quick email or anything else resembling a telephone call... no instant V3er4bal communaaques . . . . but there are some other devicres which i think we do wonders if we all took a look at em . . . a closer hander at the impossable, to ridicules...

so there is that other form of instant communicating which we all are pracicing in one way or another...

but there are still many micrrf signals, so lets not jmup the gun too fast before we have out wavelength on thesmae page...

damn, don't we really need some kind of new language =and i love music so i'm not gibing up on it!!!

where is that music ocming fgrom.... it's the music of the spheres . . .the frequncy of the earth as i spins thru space... that faint humming that is daintily audible in the right settings... so sublime , so consmic and soothing... thats what the ocrean waves can do to fix not only your hearing, but also your sight, touch, smell, feel, and taste -- again it is a replenisher of the palates; it clears away the senses, brings in beath after breath of fresh air . . . perfect place to harbass the lements (but no fire this time, notlog wise at least, kundalini, if you can count that... and the earth, the earth school, spaceship earth keep sspinning in all those circles and fractal directions and i'm just holding on for dear life...

{ whaats thiis mooon dooing too mee thiis tiime }
why wouldn't the brain have any any anyennea ...m ayubne a bit different from the rest, but, do we not sometimes have eyes in teh bavk of our heads, or somehow know that we are being looked at?? .................... paramagnetism, do ou have somethingg to ddowith it?

vould i really be goin thru all this>?

what kind of worm hole could i be caught in? how real was this... was i just about to wake up? fall asleep? come too on the threshold of a dream (oh there goes the moody bles talking again -- ooh maybe it is actually the ones who helped the moddy blues wtiyr some of their stuff.... some similar genetic history or ancesrotu of the beautiful collective consciousness that feeds those who are hundry.... hundrau for edible utopias, for chocolate free on sunday, for th foo times to roll, for love, for peace, for respect, for communicatition, for gratitude, for community, for NRE NEW sysems of thought to take hold -- because all th eideas have alreadu leaked into the mainstream . .. all the hippies ideas and the most radical ideas out their have all somehow worked their wa u into our culture . . .just as the sixties commercail stole symbols and concepts and fashions for the beats sn the beatnicks and the hippies and the up and coming punks, today our culture is populated with even some of the most normal types of people holding veru different ideas for each other s very readical from one person to the next . . . and all fols have a frame work a a a point of reference that they maintain and graph on their head chary of wehere they are.... and only so ever so so ever ever so slightly decide to inch one way or another . . .major radical changess are not something that just pop in and take over -- at least not on a normal basis for most folks --- and though we may long for massive change for ourselves, out gamily, friends, and neighbourhood, we reall times changes arepainstakingly slow, but right there is where we need to focus ourselvbves -- on that slowness, that slow sand of time that will eventuall make a snad dune here and there . . . and i those small moments of realization we creep our way forwatd to that place in life that we want to be.......................... and of course only by really dealing with some of the problems inperson, preesnt, in this world and not in a cave a cavr in the himilayas will i get what i need to elarn as a wholistiv being of light... i'd love to be an wuplifting illiminating member of the jedi that jedi spirit that exists moer out of their body thatn in it, but i guess this lifetime i'm resigned to being a participant in the white male america wotld, this fake reality... what a ctock, but i guess it's only temporary...

how was i going to get out of this mess . . . was i trapped out of space time . .. was i not ever coming back - (again!_ what was up with this bubble of being.... this damm wormhole!!@@$ $$ fug...is everyting ok, no its not ok, can't you see.. what goin on, hear... is everthing ok, oi oi oi oi okoi....

this would have been better to spend most of the tiem by myself... for my own person downloading... to brainstoemb without the intererence. . . . to get awat from theata attachedments . . . to fet away from myself . . . but look at this sandy beach and soothing ocean . . . if those things don't help to cleanse tyou palates -- i'm not sure i'll ever be clean again..............

what is up
sup song on oi this is getting ocmplicated.. and now it's getting cold.. and this shouldn't be a prolblem to oversomce... not normally ... i can do this.. i've done it so many times... just have t ohet foces beath still center constant beaths light prana om chi phi chakras energy hunab ku the sun the earth the moon the directoins the donations form the noosphere.

so iguess were done . . . i'm too confused, now uncomfaortable with my head, how it's been , how its been in limbo, been fooled and tricked more than likely bu myself, no paying close enough attention, not havnig the all encompassing vision the sio the vision clear clarity in my pal.... . . there it goes

so;

so many philosophical quesitons about the universe ... deep thoughts that i was chasing like the white rabbit . . . after the rabbit . .

and i'm on the ebach, was i in greece, was i one of those throbackss ?. . . i was feeling ancient, soemthing out of troy or a acquaintence of ullyses.

i could see some nihlism but not in any kind of bad way iguess . . . there was still so much good, but to a certain extent it was the maya of illusion the darm holograms agahin that were pretty much the cheif cause of the lack of anything, it as all nothign nothg nothing.. but somhow it was still something more than worth viewing.

there were too many long thoughts of philopshocal thought to remember even half of the trials, but considering i was expereinceing short term memory loss a tth time it was ll that bad was i spillt the beans on today.

IT WAS A CEREMONY !!!!!!!!
THAT WHY WE WERE HERE . . .
THAT'S WHAT WAS GOING ON
IT WAS A SACRED DAY, A SACRED TIME, A SACRED SPOT, SACRED PEOPLE, SACRED POWER OBJECTS, SACRED CRYSTALS, A LITTLE MOLDAVITE AND SACRED MEDICINE

i finnaly figured out why i was there . . . it was to mark the passing of time, to remember, to forget, to reflect and grow . . .
it was an undertaking for the healing of the heart of the earth, for our souls, for our family to come
we were living out the ceremony . . .our very existence is magick it is divine, and we were the products and the seeders of that perpetual concept: to be born out of love, and to keep creating out of love in our lwn lives.

i was so happy to finally know what was going on -- but i was rather disgruntles for not knowing this ahead of times. DEC!

i could plan much better for this next time
...

so now the shores were taken, normady was stormed, rome had fell, and most of the ships were on the shore . . . we had overcome and won, conquered, i guess, though it was thru love and understanding of those around us, and not by brute force.. forgive adn release your burden . . . remember how those who hld onto anger are only holding onto hold embers and burning themselves . . . you really want to asave that to throw???
let it go drop it fo'getabout it move on find somethign better to do time is prescious come on lets go think about this there is so much other pertinent info and if you took all the time to pull of that reactionary plan could n't you have spent all that energy on a better way of living and more positive system ofthought??

so, i had a new/old respect for the ocean . . . for its healing power and its creative potentila

everything so new
new newnew
new

i like it

and my burden felt lighter. mayber i wouldn't grind my teeth for a few days... or longer

atlas, can t we all just get a bong

you know i'm here for you

crystals, and musci (live) , and festivals, traveling, and good times food people are ahead even more so

A

not to say that there aren't any huredles

but were getting there

2012 is a portal that takes years to get thru . . . i think we've already started to go thru "2012", ot the portal it represents . . .

represents presents

for all

but we have to go thru an obstacle course to get to them

but they'll be worth it

trust me

namaste