Behold the Beholder

We all strive to comprehend fundamental aspects of our Being; origin, purpose, possibilities ... and yet, at times, our so-called search can be the very thing that keeps us from true understanding. "So-called," I say, because often times we continue to look in the same places over and over, thinking in the same old ways. How can something so mechanical, so habitual, be called a search? Perhaps, dare I say it? It is another ego-strategy, "designed" to keep us asleep, beneath the illusion from which it is oh-so-hard to let go.

A famous Sufi personage, or rather, the infamous Mullah Nasruddin, was found by his neighbor searching for something on the ground , beneath a street lamp, late at night. When the neighbor asked the Mullah what he was looking for, the Mullah replied, "The key to my house." The neighbor: "Do you know where you lost it?" The Mullah: "Yes, near my front door." Neighbor: "Then why are you looking for it here?" Mullah: "Because here, the light is better!"

We ALL are searching, even those who seem caught in their "hopeless" patterns; indeed, they are searching for a more efficient way to perform those tasks, for a path of least resistance, for a way without pain and suffering. THAT we search, it is not enough; it is a part of what we are, and it will continue until there are no more humans left (and arguably, even after). But WHAT searches? For WHAT does it search? And WHY?

It is a common acknowledgement, here, in this enlightened age, that we small beings exist on a much larger Being, the Earth, orbiting around an even larger Being, the Sun, whipping around an incomprehensibly larger Being, the Galaxy. And yet, we have the hubris to believe that in the midst of such gargantuan forces, WE are really in control of our lives; we can choose to look here, choose to look there, choose to BE some way or another. When we stop and really look around, we can't help but realize that a microbial being on a spec of dust on a spec of dust being spun around in a giant maelstrom of dust can't really be said to be in control. Not in the sense that we in the West think of control. That way of thinking is partly to blame for the global clusterf*ck we find ourselves in today.

What is possible? What can we truly do?

One of the greatest tricks we ever played on ourselves was to believe that what we desire exists outside of ourselves. Love; in another. Peace; in a place. Happiness; all in due time. However, we cannot seem to pull our attention completely away! And why should we? That there IS an outside it DEMANDS our attention; truly, there should be no reason to choose one over another, the inner before the outer, or the higher before the lower. What is higher anyways? Where does the inner stop and the outer begin? Really, and here is the question, what is the FULCRUM on which these seeming opposites twist?

When I am happy, or I am sad, what experiences that in me? When my attention is turned inwards during meditation, and then a dog barks outside, what is that threshold like between the two worlds when the attention passes it over? When I discover something new and amazing, what says "ah-ha!" in me? What says "I"? Who AM I? Over and over, ask this question ... no, LET this question be asked in you.

Do not remember, but BE remembered. Do not discover, but BE discovered! If you have to search, search for the searching; look for what looks and behold the beholder.

Let go of doing. Let go of having to be so damn important, and maybe, just maybe, there will be room within for the REAL work to be done; for those energies which are clamoring to descend to find expression through us, the meek, who shall inherit the Earth. Witness from a quiet place which is neither inner, nor outer, but whatever you do, change nothing ... the 'change' which we all seek will come through the space we create by not changing. Otherwise, the "doer" will just create another beautiful dream about waking.