I have long had the feeling that truth lies within and that some mystical power can be found there, but I have also struggled to follow that instinct. The 'system' keeps sucking me back in. Its my escape from freedom I guess.

I've managed to extricate myself from the soul sucking aspects of that system to some degree, but I need to replace that world view with something else. At this point I feel that community and something like permaculture are where I need to focus.