2nd x-mass since my stepfather passed away.
posted by Jules | December 25, 2009
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IcerocketWhen we die all that is left behind is stuff.
Are diary entry’s, clothing, photo’s, jewelry and keep sakes going to determine the worth of my life?
What am I worth as a person?
What am I worth to myself?
I want to know.
I dream and see all the possibilities of events that may occur.
I dream about convocations people have had about me.
I sometimes have these strange cryptic / symbolic dreams and later find out others have had the same dream as me. Being the same night, a week later or a month after I have ad this dream.
Even at times I get a rush of knowledge about a person I am with out of the blue.
Sometimes is really deep private stuff.
Dark secrets.
Embarrassing moments.
Other times it’s a random fact about the person.
A song they are thinking of.
Food they like.
I understand being alive is supposed to be some kind of experience towards our spiritual evolution. I understand how reincarnation works.
I understand my work and what I need to do to reach full “nirvana”, “enlightenment” “peace”, “state of awe”, “zen”, “complete”, “whole”. Whatever phrase you want to use.
We have to live here as many times until our work is done.
I just wish I could hake of this feeling of fear.
The unknown of fully changing my reality.
I fear the rejection and persecution that awaits me.
Any person who try’s to help and make people better faces this.
I have all my life.
I just wish I could understand why I have to help, love, respect and guide the people who could one day turn on me.
People scare me.
My clairvoyant abilities give me something that makes life livable.
It’s the 2nd thing I love about myself.
And I only have 2 things I love about myself.
I just want to know what or who I am connected too.
I want to feel whatever it Is just once.
Smell what ever it is.
Taste what ever it is.
Fully experience whatever it is.
So I know what out a doubt what it is I am a part of.
What force in the universe makes me special?
Comments
I ask myself the same sorts
— Dec 26, 2009
I ask myself the same sorts of questions. I wish I could give you some answers, but I don't really know the answers myself.
I don't know what force in the universe makes you special... but it's safe to say there IS a force in the universe that makes you that way. It's a good thing, so the why might not show itself until it's the last thing on your mind.
A friend of mine says that if you ask the question, it is always answered, some way or another. So keep asking the questions and you'll keep finding the answers. Take good care of yourself, I'm sorry about your loss. Thank you for sharing this though
Nonsimultaneously Apprehended
— Dec 26, 2009
"the universe is nonsimultaneously apprehended"-Buckminster fuller/ Robert Anton Wilson.
The Universe is undefinable because it is nonsimultaneously apprehended. What this means is that no one person can ever know everything in the Universe so therefore no person can ever know what the Universe is. Buckminster Fuller pointed that we do know of one other thing that is undefinable and nonsimultaneously apprehended and that one other thing would be us. We cannot ever grasp everything that we are because every second there is more to us. If we are constantly building on what we are and we have infinite/finite nature (meaning that there is a infinite number of possibilities in our lives but in the end it will be a finite amount) we are undefinable. This represents the Microcosm/Macrocosm view. We are the Microcosm to the Universes Macrocosm, we are both undefinable. So unfortunately you will never know what you are and I will never know what we are because we are undefinable. What I would say maybe you should explore is the accepting that you will never know and then start running with makes you feel good to believe. Every perception is a gamble so start thinking about what seems to be the better gamble to you. Does the existence of out of body experiences or ESP lead more towards a spirit being a better gamble or a worse one? Another thing I heard Buckminster Fuller point out was that Life is weightless. When we die we don't lose weight. So Life is inanimate. If life is inanimate then it is Metaphysical which means it exists only in thought. If Life only exists in thought but your obviously alive then what does that imply? I think the better bet is that there is a spirit in all of us, but I also know that I will never know, because none of us will ever know anything, we will just think things. Think what makes you feel good. Looking for meaning in life is like looking for trees on a map. You might see little squiggly lines that represent trees but you won't find the actual tree. Life is meaning. I hope this helps.
As above, so below. As
— Dec 27, 2009
As above, so below. As below, so above.
We are all thoughts of the divine mind, and our thoughts are all divine manifestations. We are the consciousness and creative embodiment of the universe.
I know that this is not shocking to anyone here, and most likely already fully realized, but it helps me "keep on keepin on" when I'm not so sure of what the hell is exactly going on.
Peace be to you, sister.
Peace be to all.
WHY
— Dec 27, 2009
I feel quite similarily. I had an experience recently where I discovered that a great deal of my own suffereing came from my constant obsessing over the question Why?? In this moment it was revealed to me that I must stop at this time asking why. And just live and explore the mystery. Thats where I am at now with that. I still wonder but I have ceased the obsesion of ?WHY?
Thanks for posting Jules!
Peace and Love
Never stop...
— Dec 27, 2009
The flame of spirit burns inside you Jules, asking questions like who am I and why am I here are very important. Many feel there are no answers to be found, they say life is meant to remain a mystery. To those individuals I say keep on the path, keep searching for love and ONEness. I have been searching for more than twenty five years. In this time I have, on many occasions, felt the answers would never come. In times past, I have rebuked myself for lack of determination. I have felt the same despair mentioned by others who have commented on this blog. In this age of information we are not used to asking questions without finding answers. It is tenacity which brings us back to the desire for truth, the same tenacity which will further illustrate your dreams.
The most important step is to know the ONE. It is only with a true " knowing " of the ONE that we can see beyond illusions like death and fear. Your left brain may easily see the ONE through the biology and the physics of our universe. Your right brain may allow your heart to see the ONE with the aid of great literary works like the Bhagavad Gita, A Course in miracles, GodIAm, and The Power of Now.
There will come a time Jules when you must release the books in trust that it is only from the source within that the final answers will be found. In an effort to better communicate with the Akasha files one needs to become adept at meditation and/or use good drugs. I think mushrooms, LSD, DMT and Ayahuasca are the best vehicles for " God Talk ". DMT is the best known substance for spirit quests. When undertaking a spirit quest I find it is best to meditate for a few weeks on the specific questions you wish answered, then with great reverence open your mind.
When you find the ONE Jules there will be no desire to use the word fear. You are God, your manifest being is sacred. I love in you and in your writing much more than two good things Jules. I love and adore your every moment, each breath, every choice you make represents the personification of pefection.
Namaste, my sister Jules, fear becomes love.
The One
— Dec 28, 2009
I'm glad you posted right after myself. I gained the feeling that the One is the Why and so to ask and search is good but in my own life it became an unhealthy obsession... One of these vehicles you speak of can help one - and has helped me - to grasp the paradox. But once you realize there is a living breathing( metaphysicaly speaking) paradox then for myself the obsession became a healthy and steady striving to connect and understand and live and revel in the mystery that may remain. Its true, fear disapates. My obsession I believe was driven partially by fear. Thanks GodIAM. Peace.
"And so it was revealed to
— Dec 28, 2009
"And so it was revealed to me, that god is not a male person at all, verily she is not even a grownup. The goddess of goddesses is a little girl, so small indeed, she does not grow a single hair between her holy and virginal legs..."
Plenty of questions on one blog: nothing makes ME special.
I am ALL. I am YOU.
