I value the good people and I value the bad people.

As of late I am slowly meeting new kinds of people. I am slowly meeting people who actually like, adore, and love me for me.

- I am called smart because I found ways to over come my disability and people with normal brains are in awe with the knowledge and skill I have. Normal brained people want to learn from me. This is a first.

- I am called funny. Not cause I am being made fun of but because I make people laugh and smile.

-I am called beautiful and pretty and it has nothing to do with how I look. I am called those two words because people are attracted to what is in my heart and my mind. For once in my life people are not blind towards me SEE me.

-The few men in my life hug, kiss, hold my hand, give high fives, and cuddle with me. They don’t slap, punch, spit on me, push me, beat me or rape me. All these new men want me to help me heal and get over my negative experience with their gender. These men want to help me reclaim what was taken from me so long ago by other men.

-The few women who have entered my life and have been in it recently gave me the acceptance and feeling of sisterhood I never had. Some of them even wish they had by body and that’s something I find unbelievable at times. I never knew women who wanted to be 5’9 with my measurements. I’m not the fat ugly girl … I am the women want to be like. Even if I don't see it ... they can see that the outside is just as good as the inside.

At 27 I am starting to value all the shitty people who came into my life as well....

- The rich little white kids who spat spit balls at me in school and called me worthless and fat. Who stuck gum in my hair and called me a dirty spic. Because of you I know the things people can say and do to break another person’s heart. I know the person I never want to be. I had no choice but to find comfort in my Hispanic, Caribbean, Asian and Indian friends. I accept all forums and kinds of people and I NEVER make other feel like shit for who they are based on race.

-To most (not all) of my family who rejected me. Because of you I value my Grandparents and Mother more. I have this desire to have my own family one day and I know what NOT TO DO to make my imaginary child / children feel unloved and unwanted.

-To my father who was never around. I am so much better off without you. Because of you I saw that a woman (my mom) can be on her own and be happy without a man to validate her existence. Thank you father for leaving and never coming home.

-To every Woman and Man I had a romantic dynamic with who lied, cheated, stole and treated me like crap. Thank you. I know what love is not and it’s the best place to be. I know what not to do when I find my person who I can give my heart and vagina to fully. My loving heart is stronger then the fucked up ones that you ‘feel’ with.

To my Now Livers, HS friends, Couch Surfers, Collage Mates, My mom, My cat, Evolvers near and far, Joss Whedon, Russel T Davies & The Doctor, Brain K Vaughn, and Neil Gaiman.

You good people are helping me each day in big and small ways.