What I know for a fact is that I am lost

my hEARt,

eYe 2 am disappointed with these 'evolvers' & was trying 2 delete this account again when eYe stumbled upon yOUR wRITE... WE are a bREAth a®ay from h((OM))e... find what brings YOU JOY & ignore all else... follow the sin.CROWN.I.CITY N2 BLISS... ignore ALL else... besides if YOU sELF-destruct YOU mayBE.C.OMe PURE LIGHT!!!!

SMILE

I don't see the future, but I can often feel it. Or it seems that way. It's ironic because I can see things very clearly with my eyes closed. And my dreamtime is crazy-detailed and cinematic. The trouble with sensing the future is that I never know if it's just my imagination or not.

One thing evolver has helped me greatly with is giving me near real-time feedback from the perspectives of others (whom I've come to trust). I guess it gives me a statistical approach that i've never had available before.

I'm in the place you're talking about too, if I understand you right. I was just writing on Harry's blog about 'Indigo Veterans,' when my daughter killed the browser window. oops. Anyway (I have a fever today, so 'scuse my stream of consciousness) I'm 43, and I've spent most of my time here this time playing along with the rules (mostly) while working under the radar (usually). I've occasionally found a comfortable fit between life as it has been thus far, and my inner self (75/25?). The outer context has remained stubbornly wrong, however. I've only shared the real stuff most delicately, appropriately, and sensitively (read partially) with my most intimate relations. Parent-child, teacher-student, best friends, significant others.. stashing it into my artwork and sketchbooks too.

But this is a crazy time. It's a serious limbo for me. All the knowing of my intuition, the masks of my soul and it's memories, are rising up in the smoky mirror. At the same time, it's overturning and tearing down the structures I'm accustomed to living with. I am in a state of letting go and floating. Until further notice from the mystery of existence, about all I seem to be able do is work within, and reach out to connect. Believe me, it's not for lack of trying things either. While writing on Harry's blog I had the picture of being one of those d-day paratroopers silently floating down behind enemy lines, not knowing what to expect, wind in my ears.

The energy of the hour is higher than I've ever experienced. A viral evolution is underway that makes the 60's look like a petri dish experiment. The economy seems poised to fail massively, and winter is just around the corner. If my intuition does serve me correctly, it could be legendary. Evolvers have given me huge amounts of information to help me prepare, remember, and wake up less catastrophically from my groggy spiritual ennui. Except for the lateral shocks, I actually feel like my old, inquisitive, mischievous kid-self again. My neurons are lit, and I'm ready to play. I just don't know when, where, how, or with whom yet.

And yeah, DKING, the bliss thing! That and the burning heart resonance. Though I've earnestly traveled down speeding paths of self-destruction, I keep getting that I need to keep my body. Part of my original mission I guess.

Another thing. When I get the knack of guiding this astral projection form, I hope to see you all out there. That'd be a party!

I believe we always get what we need at the right time.

Reading this blog, at this time makes me know that others feel as I do. So in other words, I am lonely too. I know there are things that I know, and it keeps me positive. But underneath I feel a sadness, and I know its the loneliness I am feeling and learning about.

I am asking with all my heart, as you are, to find a sanctuary where I can express myself and talk about my experiences with others. I know this is the place to do it but I am the kind of person that thrives on someone actually being there; conversing and feeling each others energy transfer back and forth.

Something that I did recently was think of every 'aware' person I knew. Then I made a vow to talk to them more and have them in my life more. I complain about not having anyone, yet the opposite is true. I do have others around me, but they are scattered and not all in one place. I think that is what frustrates me most.

I think we must have this feeling in order for us to be drawn together. Because if we never experience this loneliness then we would never find the drive to get out and force ourselves to meet others. There are always people to connect with. Sometimes you just have to make the first move. Believe you will live in a world with other evolvers, and one day you will wake up and that exact reality will be true. EveryTHING first was just a thought. Good luck.

<3 karina

I can feel your words. I know only a handful of people who are as awake as I am, and I am quietly content with the way my life is going but I feel the need for more connections, for a sanctuary like you say. The people close to me are at times caught up in the complications of life and connections can fade in and out. I do feel lonely at times but I can also see things that are still yet to happen so I do know this lonliness will pass. I guess I do feel a little sad inside at times, mainly through frustration of not bringing the people close to me even closer to me and sharing the awakening process with them. I'm still not too sure of my life purpose, I think it is just to promote non-judgement and project LOVE, and I'm happy with that. :)

"Not all those who wander are lost. "

Some people discover great things during their wanderings. Keep it up!