Destination: Recapitulation!

Deterioration, masturbation, constellation, procrastination, allocation. Those are a few words I think of when I hear the word 'recapitulation'. I first heard it years ago in a speech given by Grant Morrison, and I never bothered to look it up. My loss.

Recently I was reading a fellow evolver's blog post, which gave a succinct but mindblowing perspective on the building blocks of reality. At the end, she mentioned 'recapitulation' briefly and described the process as erasing personal history and losing human form.

Naturally I wanted to try it. :P

A working definition: Recapitulation is the psychological and energetic process of releasing energy tied up with old preoccupations and habits of thought (which usually dwell in memory).

Last night I gave it my first go. Some sacraments involved made the experience more intense and probably less effective. The following was my approach:

~ Write down all the names I have gone by throughout my varied paradigms of thought from occulture through tantra.
~ Visit that evolving lineage of worldviews and call back the spent energy upholding trash constructs. (In other words disabling any remaining illusions left over from old beliefs)

It worked but I can't say it was pleasant or that it stayed with me when I woke this morning. So I decided to do it again, this time without sacrament.

I opened a sacred space in my room the same as anyone else might. I lit some incense and briefly meditated to harmonize and stretch mindstuff. Then I picked up a notebook and wrote down the names of all the people I have intense emotional reactions to. I forgave the people that I hate (I hold grudges) and I let go of the people that I love (and the love remains!). Then I began tackling ideas that I had about myself, and ideas that I thought everyone else had about me.

Which is when I began to realize how outdated my models were. I generally treat everyone as if they knew how I had been in grade school. It left me feeling that I often came across as being mean and sharp, which led me to compensate by being overly nice and accommodating to my own detriment. So anyone who knows me today would find that sentiment amusing, since I'm laughably benign.

I suppose this is where the story has gotten personal, risking losing relevance to the evolved eyes perusing the pages. So I'll return to the subject at hand.

Recapitulation is the time-tested technique of a process I unknowingly began last week. Destroying false beliefs I have about myself. When I read about it on here, it was almost like a cosmic lightbulb moment. Ask and you shall receive.

So now, using the technology, I have found it to be very grounding and securing. Invaluable for the maintenance of one's cultural sanity.

To give you a better idea about it, I'll just say this. A lot of people do it without realizing it. There are always certain points in your life when you stop and look back and reflect and digest. Recapitulation is that, but on god's prizefighting steroids.