Return to Meditation Post-Toltech Upgrade
posted by Benjamin Bongstein | September 16, 2010
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IcerocketIn the past four years I have gone from occult nightmares to Eden. Beginning with my initiation into tantra my freshman year of college, I can literally map out every step I took along the way to get to where I am now, a vastly different place, in my senior year. And I'm still so young!
Many more miles to cruise down.
Changing your life is a funny process. Even the best goals and techniques can cause immeasurable friction in one's life. How can someone labor toward casting away the illusions of duality and realize the essential oneness of the creation while still indulging such delusions as jealousy and hate?
If you are going to accept certain spiritual truths, they *must* have real world ramifications that are accepted as well. Otherwise one remains torn between false laws.
For me, the venture into Castaneda's work and the toltec warriorship was a way of translating my accepted spiritual truths from meditation into a real life vehicle. In other words, Castaneda gave me a way of existing and behaving as a human animal that not only compliments my meditative practice but also lends Power to it.
I ceased my meditation practice this summer after I came into contact with Castaneda. I stopped everything and jumped in as a fledgling warrior, no safety nets, chaos magician-style.
Believe you me, shit went down.
I can't say it's stabilizing because I can tell I'm still tumbling down the rabbit hole. But I've reached the point where it is right to begin meditation again.
They say a warrior is always waiting and he knows what he's waiting for. Now I remember what I've been waiting for.
Comments
wow
— Sep 18, 2010
interesting, this seems to much be the path that i have been walking down for at least the past year or three, as i was finally forced to drop out of high school last year in the middle of my junior year, in short, i could no longer stand the controlled chaos of the public schooling environment, it was doing absolutely nothing good for my collective psyche except perhaps exasperating and confusing it, but now that i am off school and off work for a while i have had the majority of this year to keep to myself, to try and calm my mind so that i can figure everything out, but it's one speed bump after the other, with the recent death of a good friend and constant battle between personal conflicting emotions, the beaten path to enlightenment for me has been steered off course, and i'm trying to get back on. The only thing i can do now is, figuratively, keep on trucking, stay on the path that i am trailblazing in hope of finding something amazing, something that i need right now, because i'm beginning to feel i have nothing else. I could keep writing just as easily as i continue to think, but I'll cut this short. Great writing, I believe we are getting closer to what we both are looking for brother, keep searching and best of luck on your journey. I am growing more fond of this website, this movement and the community that it holds, more and more every time I read or post a new blog, I think that maybe this is the beginning of a true Evolver Movement, in society, in civilization and in human collective consciousness.
-A. (Gaia)
please help me "grok my
— Sep 18, 2010
please help me "grok my shift" brother and vote for my blog entry to win a ticket to this year's reality sandwich fall retreat, as it is something that I feel I greatly need especially in this point in time in my life, i feel like i was given this slight chance of an opportunity of a life time "for a reason", please if you are interested go read my blogs and comment if you'd like, here's a link to my blog entry, I don't have much of a chance to win in competition with these other Evolvers, but it's worth a try, may the best Evolver win. You'll be hearing from me
-A.
http://www.evolver.net/user/gaia16/blog/why_reality_sandwich_dimension_r...
Come clarity
— Oct 11, 2010
The more you live life, and fill the mind with it, it seems the more confusion storms the front. But also, the more you live NOW, the less you have to worry about life overall. I hope this makes some sense, but stay with me a bit. This is a lesson wich everyone must, and eventually will learn, myself included (not yet accomplished). Confusion, in my humble opinion, develops mostly from the fear of surrendering to all possibilities, wich basically puts one in a situation where no control or certainty can be established. The more you dip this spicy idea in your prescious soup, the faster confusion will diminish. Eventually we are all certain in some level that "It is inevitable" and clarity and awareness will fill our life and existence.
So don't feel down, when all is going up!
Please forgive me, for I have much yet to learn :)
