Abrupt shift in consciousness
posted by Benjaminsk | November 10, 2009
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IcerocketI'm new to this whole spiritual growth thing, as of a few months ago. I had always been interested in spirituality, and I was always an accepting, relatively kind person. Although up until earlier this Fall, I was very cynical, depressed, and doggedly agnostic; and I was pretty OK with it.
One morning I woke up and I was simply smacked in the face with a new lease on life. Instead of remaining unopinionated in matters of spirituality, things became so clear to me. I began thinking positively, seeing the other side of the coin, looking at the world objectively so I could see all sides of any concept. I feel more accepting, more aware, more enlightened. I now accept everything that has ever happened, and I am OK with everything that is yet to be. My anxiety is gone, as is my depression, which I was previously medicated for.
Although I still remain hesitant to draw any distinct conclusions (due to my still semi-agnostic outlook) and stand behind them 100%, I have started to think about what the world means to me, and what I mean to the world. Without spilling my guts with too much detail (which I may do in a future post), I have concluded that there is some extra-physical, transient force that permeates all of life on every scale. Could be God, could be spirits, could be The Force for all I care, all I know is that it is there, and it is what drives us... what drives nature, and evolution, and physics. All things in our physical world stem from this existential force. I feel like this is just the first of many realizations.
The weird part is that it happen "just like that." I woke up one day and it just dawned upon me with seemingly no root cause.
tl;dr - was anyone's first step into this journey of enlightenment a long drawn-out process, or was it a shotgun blast extra-conscious thoughts like mine was?
Comments
awakening
— Nov 10, 2009
Mine began happening when I was 12, which was also one of those life changing experiences..... It was like I just woke up..
It was then I began the journey that leads me to where I am today...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
here we are inside the dance of our creation.
I think what you may find
— Nov 10, 2009
I think what you may find here on evolver is that the "tl;dr" idea doesn't really apply. People are interested in your thoughts and ideas because I think it's part of the fundamental philosophy of this website to keep an open ear (or eye, given that we're reading) to what people have to say.
Life is strange. I've lived my life since birth in a strange mindset. Somewhere deep inside I've known from the get-go that something is up with this whole society and initially I started getting into politics by the 6th grade. High school broadened my perspective as I was getting older. I read Nietzsche and Sartre the summer before high school. Didn't get a lot of it of course, but I've since re-read and I grasp their ideas much better (and of course many other philosophers have a place on my intellectual menu, political and abstract).
It wasn't until the end of high school and subsequently did I get into psychedelics like LSD and psilocybin (mushrooms). These showed me a whole different dimension of perspective that I not only yearned for, but that I needed to see in my pursuit of a better consciousness. I went on to try a few other synthetic psychedelics (2-CI, for example), before I hit DMT which I felt a good end point in my pursuit of new psychedelic drugs. Since all this I have settled on psilocybin and DMT as the only two I will touch because they are the most harmless out of this branch of "drugs."
My "journey to enlightenment" started when I was a child growing up in dual household paradigm. My mother's side of the family being secular materialist, and my father's side Christian conservative. I was born in the middle of a rip in the fabric of space-time because of this. Haha. For me it was inherent that I follow this kind of awkward path and read lots of books. I was compelled to seek knowledge. If there was any "shotgun blast" it would be psychedelics, and if say, mushrooms was a 12-gauge, DMT was an 8-gauge.
-i
Now that I think of it, I
— Nov 10, 2009
Now that I think of it, I think I can trace back this feeling to the first time I took psilocybin mushrooms. The oneness and power I feel every day -the pull to something greater- was a huge part of my mushroom experience, albeit a hell of a lot more intense, haha. In my mind's eye I had this image, or sort of an image. All I can remember was a gigantic pillar of orange light, brighter than anything, just sitting there in this endless field of white. I felt like this "was it," that this image of light in my head was the purpose for the wind, and the tides, and evolution, and my life, etc., and that everything was gravitating towards this light. I suppose that this light could represent the transient force that I'm seeking to define today.
I'm glad tl;dr doesn't really apply here, I was just trying being polite :)
Yeah man, I can dig it.
— Nov 10, 2009
Yeah man, I can dig it. Mushrooms has always been something I've tried to do outside. Every time I do, I get this "garden of eden" kind of feeling because everything is shifting in shape and color, everything is alive and pulsating. Sometimes I see weird animals or creatures and they usually have interesting things to say, but it depends on the dose. Haha.
-i
yow , youre here!
— Nov 10, 2009
for me it was a drawn out processing which is always processing , and there are awesome blasts along the wayyyy-y-y-y, WOO
Yeah, at this point it feels
— Nov 10, 2009
Yeah, at this point it feels like a process, and I seem to gain more insight with each passing day. The catalyst, however, was the shotgun.
Welcome
— Nov 10, 2009
I believe the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle (who you may have heard of) had a similar experience to you in that he, too, had a realization (or was "smacked in the face") that changed his life.
I can relate to you in the sense that spirituality has been of particular interest to me. I had neglected pursuing it further during my teenage years before a difficult period in my life caused me to re-evaluate what's important to living a sound life. What is interesting is that there was more happiness in me when I lived a materialistic life compared to now, but I would never go back to that way of thinking.
Relative to your experience, this change was a drawn-out process. It is interesting to note that the change can occur suddenly (as in your case) or occur as a drawn-out process (as is my case). Having said that, a catalyst to my pursuit in spirituality was a meditative experience that was proof to me that there is more to existence than the pure physical form (which, I still identify with so greatly, but am in the process of changing).
I am glad to have read your post, brother. It is comforting to hear of people, like yourself, having similar experiences and willing to share them for the rest of the community.
My journey began with psilocybin too
— Nov 11, 2009
I definitely had a profound shift in consciousness with mushrooms. Probably my third or fourth trip actually, but it was a real etch-a-sketch eraser, if you know what I mean!
I guess you could say this journey started with cannabis in a way too, as that really opened my mind a lot when I was a young teenager. However, mushrooms really bust open my head! But, it was just the start of a journey that I'm still on. I was always rebellious, socially conscious, etc. But that first truly insightful trip started me on something!
Funnily enough, i rarely do pyschedellics now. Not averse to them, but I let them find me, so its more rare. The trick is to take the lessons back to reality and let them transform you and it.
Good luck on your quest buddy, its the start of an interesting awakening!
I feel the same way about
— Nov 11, 2009
I feel the same way about psychedelics myself. I've done more since that first time, and I've learned a lot of things. At this point my friends and I don't really see it as recreation at all, it's a more meaningful activity. It's been a while since we've done it, and I'm not adverse to doing it again, but I have no aching desire to, and I suppose that's a good thing.
Haha, same in the respect
— Nov 12, 2009
Haha, same in the respect that I let psychedelics find me. LSD is the only one that seems to come my way these days and I keep saying no, because I feel that I've done it enough. I'm a mushroom and DMT kind of person and LSD has taken it's toll on my spine. No more for me.
-i
many waves
— Nov 12, 2009
I've noticed, in my case, that the road of awakening is very rocky. It started when I was born, as I grew up, never feeling quite like I fit in, always being labled smart, but rebelious. I started smoking weed at 16, the road smoothed out a bit, things seemed to make sense. I got busted. ROCKY. Then I snapped out of it, had a whole new lease on life, graduated from High School and took off across the country, ready to conquer whatever experience came my way. SMOOTH. Proceeded to get stranded in a border town for 9 months. ROCKY. This has occured in endless cycles all of my life. But every time the road smooths out, my understanding of myself, the world, and my place in the cosmos expands. I know I will not remain "on top of the world" forever, but even though the road is rocky it still feels good to me...
"Soon we'll find out who is the real revolutionaries." -- Robert Nesta Marley
libertycaps and Barry Long
— Nov 12, 2009
There are different events and things that influenced my spiritual awakening.
Like inospoljaric your story reminds me of the one Eckhart Tolle had. The last year I really got fan of Eckhart. It nearly looks like I could see him as my guru.. although I always promised myself to keep to what the Buddha said ('they' said): "Never follow another leader then yourself'.
He is just bringing me on another level of awareness with his so simple words and examples.
I was happily surprised when I found out that Barry Long once spiritual teacher (1 augustus 1926 – 6 december 2003) had had a big influence on Eckhart Tolle aswell.
One of my biggest awakenings was the listening over and over again) to a lecture called The Law of Life by Barry Long.
I was in a state of heavy depression caused by separation with a man I lived with for 16 years, my parents being ill...
I thought these where the causes of my feeling in life though. But that wasn't for it was my ego.
Than magic mushroom also opend me up to the starring beauty of life and excistence. I thanks them deeply for handing this miracelous insight!
Namaste
