Over the last few years struggle, chaos and upheaval have permeated all aspects of my life. It has been very difficult and even terrifying at times. I’ve lost my job, my living space, relationships, many aspects of my identity and most of my material possessions. However I created this experience with the simple but powerful intention to be free, truly free at all levels.

As I’ve walked my spiritual path I’ve engaged in many practices, some more effective than others. I’ve found that the simplest techniques are usually the most effective because in my view the aim of the spiritual path is very simple and immediate. That aim is to realize our true nature, to return to wakefulness, to awaken from the dream of separate/dualistic life.

As I’ve walked my spiritual path over the last few years I’ve let go of many aspects of my identity and the ways I had habitually defined myself. The question - Who am I? - is a key spiritual question which can be a conduit for accessing our true nature which is beyond all labels.

In the last couple of years I've moved around a great deal living in half a dozen living situations. In the process I've been looking at how I create security, stability and a feeling a safety in my life. Over the last couple of years I've had very few of the usual things most people associate with security and stability, things like a house, a car, a job, a long term relationship or money.

A man was walking in the forest and came upon a monk sitting under a tree.
The man asked the monk, who are you sir?
The monk replied, I am.
I see said the man and how is it you look so happy and joyful?
I have discovered a treasure said the monk.
Well sir, I am a poor man and am distraught with my life, won’t you share this treasure with me?

This morning was the full moon in Virgo/Pisces and last night when the moon as out in all her radiance I tried a new form of full moon practice. I usually do a special practice on the full moon which includes meditation and channeling the powerful energy with intention but last nights practice opened me up to the energy of the Goddess at a new level.

Have you ever had a period in your life where you felt stuck and overcome by your habitual patterns unable to break free? That has been my life over the last few months and it seemed like no matter what I tried to do it would not work out.

I've written about the warrior archetype and the way it is played out in a destructive way in our society today (See "The Warrior Archetype and the Reemergence of the Goddess"). Lately I've become more aware of the importance of this powerful archetype both for myself and the collective.

I’ve been doing so much inner work lately that not only can it feel overwhelming but it can get pretty depressing at times even though confronting and integrating inner darkness and pain is necessary for healing and freedom.

I love trees, I always have. I love the natural world but for some reason trees have always had a special meaning and a special power for me. The reverence and appreciation I feel for them can be intense and lately I’ve made it a daily practice to connect and work with them.

I’m not sure what to say about today except that I feel absolutely confused in an intense emotional sort of way. It being my birthday might have a little to do with it but I doubt very much because I don’t really give two shits about the Gregorian slave calendar most of us are still using. Maybe I resent the part of me still submitting to this delusion we label time.

Having heard so much about the movie Avatar I finally went to see it today. I expected a decent sci-fi/fantasy film because I trust the people who recommended so strongly that I see it and I very rarely see mainstream movies anymore because I find most of them mind-numbing.

As we enter the year we call 2010 on the Gregorian calendar, I find myself letting go of more layers of myself. I don’t really know how to describe it but parts of my life and identity continue to fall away. I don’t know who I am anymore. All my efforts to define who I am and what I do fall so far short that they now seem meaningless.

A friend of mine recently lost a loved one to suicide and asked me to advise her on how she might benefit her friend now that he has died. This got me thinking about death again which is not so unusual for someone on the spiritual path but it takes on new significance when it strikes close to home.

It has been interesting over the last few years to watch the concept of 2012 emerge into mass consciousness and grow into the household word it is today. Given its popularity there are now a wide range of perceptions as to what meaning the 2012 date holds.

Have you had the experience of having intentions, goals and aspirations that you are passionate about but never seem to fully come to fruition? Do you find yourself struggling with habits, addictions or feeling stuck in familiar patterns in your life that no longer serve you but resist your efforts at change? Do you ever feel like there is a part of you that is working against your wishes?

I recently read a post on Reality Sandwich entitled “The Spiritual Nomad”. In the article the author Lisa Renee describes a process that more and more people are experiencing after a spiritual awakening in which their life is turned upside down.

It is my belief that with the challenges facing us today what ultimately must happen for any real change to occur is a shift in consciousness or an awakening out of a collectively unconscious state.

A powerful trend is growing in our society as we move deeper into this time of transformation. It is becoming more and more clear to me that the changes we are experiencing involve the movement of the Divine Feminine into a more dominant role in the world and society.

Today is the annual blog action day and this years topic is climate change. I’ve decided to participate in this action because climate change has become such a major issue and I think this is a good reminder to pause for a moment and reflect on what it means to us.

What does the current world situation bring up for you? This question produces a variety of responses depending on who you ask. There are seriously alarming things playing out right now many of which are major global events such as climate change. Beyond that we seem to be creating increasingly oppressive governments even in our so called free western societies.

Most people have heard of mindfulness, like meditation it has become a fairly common term in general use. It has also become more accepted in western psychology as having therapeutic benefit.

Meditation has been one of the most powerful healing techniques that I’ve ever encountered and I’ve used it extensively on my own path as well as regularly offering it to those I work with.

Once during a regular question and answer session with his students, spiritual teacher J. Krishnamurti paused and leaned forward and asked the audience, “Do you want to know what my secret is?”. Everyone sat up and became immensely alert because here was one of the great spiritual teachers of the 20th century and he was about to tell them his secret.

For the past few thousand years we have lived in a patriarchal paradigm where the masculine has been over emphasized at the expense of the feminine. This has produced not only the oppression of women, constant war and violence but also inner conflict for both men and women as each struggles to be whole human beings in a world where an imbalanced ideal is cherished.

There are two things about life that never cease to amaze me, one is how painful it can be and the other is how simple and beautiful it can be. When things are going well it is very easy to grab onto that experience and expect life to remain good and comfortable but inevitably it changes and we experience pain and difficultly which we tend to want to avoid or push away.

We are living in transformative times there is no question about it. It seems almost everything on an external as well as internal level is undergoing radical change these days. This is an exciting, powerful and often painful process to be involved in but the potential is amazing.

I think it is fair to say that there is a crisis of meaning and purpose in society today. Much of what we see in the world is a reflection of this in my opinion. This leads to the question of where meaning and purpose come from, if many of us are lacking it or think we are, what exactly is it we're lacking or out of touch with?

Since my intense experience at a Zen retreat a couple of weeks ago my spiritual practice (or really my life) has begun to shift significantly and it is shifting in the direction of simplicity. What I reacted to at the retreat was the degree of structure and technique.

How do you cope when you find your life in chaos? I’ve been experiencing increasing chaos in my life in many areas and its been interesting to notice my reaction to it. My process has involved trying to create a new livelihood so that I can create the resources I need in my life without sacrificing my heart. It has not been a easy process and the short term result has been very little money.

Some friends of mine and I have been discussing the idea of creating our own community house as an alternative to our various living situations. That discussion has prompted me to look at what community means to me now and in the future. Community has been quite important to me but I’ve started to realize that it has also been very limited compared to its potential.