Encountering the Zero Point
posted by Colin Bondi | January 3, 2010
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IcerocketAs we enter the year we call 2010 on the Gregorian calendar, I find myself letting go of more layers of myself. I don’t really know how to describe it but parts of my life and identity continue to fall away. I don’t know who I am anymore. All my efforts to define who I am and what I do fall so far short that they now seem meaningless.
The only coherence I’m finding these days comes in the here and now and in the now I only know that I am. I can feel the aliveness and the energy pulsating through me and its me but its not me.
I have a sense of purpose but it defies words.
My life is infused with meaning but it can’t be understood.
My world is rich with abundance but it can’t be grasped.
The unknown is my reality and the possibilities are limitless.
The only security I have is within.
The world is safe when I feel safe and dangerous when I’m afraid.
There is no objective truth and nothing to be right about, yet truth is everywhere.
Time has become a blur and a burden to be put down.
I love but not in the old way.
I feel the suffering of those around me to the point of tears.
But that suffering doesn’t seem like a problem.
I can no longer expend effort for money yet somehow it still manifests.
My demons are still here but I find myself welcoming them more and more as friends.
I’m not sure what any of this means or what to expect from the future if such a thing exists but somehow it seems alright. Well actually more than alright, amazing…….wonderful………magnificent……as well as confusing and terrifying (but only when I’m holding on)…..
My apologies if none of this makes sense, its not important. I could use a cup of tea.
May you be in joy in this moment………..
Comments
I feel it too!
— Jan 03, 2010
I hear what you are saying bro...I'm in the same boat and I'm going to enjoy the ride!
peace!
metamorphosis of the collective man
— Jan 03, 2010
there has been so much transition in my life during 2009 that i feel 2010 is going to be a very new experience, as i too can no longer hang on to old patterns of mind. being more and more entranced by what is...this moment. i feel were collectively waking up and some cells (individuals) in this organism called humanity are beginning to feel and experience the effects of the metamorphosis that is driving us into the zero point field. we have come to a time now were we stop investigating evolution and start experiencing it.
Thank you for expressing
— Jan 03, 2010
Thank you for expressing these thoughts in earnest, and with such eloquence, something which I find myself moved by more and more with each passing day.
I think that as some of us strive to become ever more conscious we find that expanding consciousness begins to manifest itself in ways that transcend knowledge, per se, illuminating less used faculties and sensitivities.
In the past 15 years or so, I've often decried the desiccated, disenchanted world that had become our post-modern culture. At first I rejected it outright, diving into serious drugs in a serious way in an attempt to either self-destruct or permanently return to the womb.
Half-dead, I encountered an angel who, with love and inspiration, led me out of this heroin abyss into an enlivened world of letters.
Ideas, arguments, theories and dialectic became my new fix, and I began to find a sense of meaning in my quickly expanding knowledge. I liked to be 'right', and would argue passionately and to the death for my convictions, often alienating friends and family members along the way, who certainly did not find me much improved even with all my new knowledge and enormous ego in which to keep it.
The past few years have slowly taken me beyond this previous phase. As I've intensified and deepened my study of philosophy, I've come to realize just how seriously we must take Socrates' famous declaration, that "he is wise because he knows that he knows nothing". Beyond mere self-deprication, I take this as not just another piece of knowledge that one can internalize and recall when needed. Rather, Socrates here gives a method and attitude for living, urging humility, temperance and generosity.
What he doesn't tell us, and what I think you've expressed above, is that when we consciously strive to embody this ethic our world becomes qualitatively changed, re-enchanted, if you will.
At least, I've found as much.
resonation
— Jan 04, 2010
I resonate with what you've expressed a great deal Trevor. I've taken a trip into substances to numb myself, religion to find easy salvation through someone elses effort and knowledge and science to attempt to consume enough knowledge and build a big enough ego that it might swallow my inner anxiety. None of it worked and now I am right there with Socrates in embracing the I don't know and feeling the immense power, joy and freedom in that. And it certainly does change ones reality in ways that I never imagined possible.
I feel a shift in consciousness happening right now as we speak and it helps me to envision a new world that we can all dream up together that will nurture our spirit as well as our bodies.
AAAH Dito!
— Jan 04, 2010
2010 is the year of ET Disclosure. And. 2010 is the year of the Great Gathering.
http://www.thegreatgathering.org/
The energies have sure changed just since Christmas. The movie Avatar has helped change. Prepare for synergistic synchronicity.
I hear that
— Jan 04, 2010
2009 was such a undefinable year for me, but I like to call it a great year. I left that decade with a sense of victory and accomplishment, but I also left my old ideas of who I am and what I am behind, almost out of some uncontrollable evolutionary need!
We are transcending it seems into a world where there are no individuals or a oneness in the traditional senses. We are going to help define our time and our times will help define us.
So as we leave further the ancient analog past, and speed further into the future, we are being broken down by new ideas and new technologies, and even by psychedelics if you enjoy taking them.
Let us build a society that is not at odds with our new found awareness!
Detachment
— Jan 04, 2010
I can relate. It looks like others can, too.
The old system of division is dying, the attachment to labels, opinions, and conclusions have little to no import anymore. Without the usual activities for the ego to occupy itself with (judgment, categorizing), we're left with a sort of emptiness that I've seen quite a few expressing. The energies are certainly different lately. I've looked at the night sky for the last few nights feeling that SOMETHING is definitely different. A time for ashes, the phoenix prepares....
Great piece, Colin.
Same wave.
— Jan 05, 2010
I've been feeling the same way for quite some time. In fact, reading this almost put me to tears. Simply knowing, or at least thinking, there are other people out there feeling just as I do really helps me along my journey.
Thanks Colin
— Jan 05, 2010
Nice post. I have been experiencing similar indescribable confusions. The past is dropping away and what's coming around the bend? The photo of the bicyclist on the bridge summarizes and conveys exactly how I've been feeling. The present is covered in ice, a bicycle seems like a ridiculous way to be traveling, the very near future is shrouded in fog and mystery, but onward across the bridge is the only thing to do. It is nice to have reminders that others are in a similar state, and that the best idea is to relax and enjoy the ride. And I can definitely use a cup of tea also.
did i write this?
— Jan 05, 2010
when a friend sent me this post my first response was to wonder if i'd written it in my sleep.
new year's eve i attempted to share with close friends what you have expressed here so clearly. thank you for putting it into words.
i'm wondering if you"re the "colin" who sometimes responds to christine kane's blog posts? if so, have you seen her "word of the year" gift?
InJoy
thanks
— Jan 05, 2010
Thanks for the feedback everyone, it is joyful for me to see that so many people resonate with this. For me it is a reflection of the increasing transformation that is happening right now and I feel optimistic that we can transform this world by transforming ourselves.........as within so without........
I find lots of similarities
— Jan 16, 2010
I find lots of similarities between your description and mine. I find a good test to see if people are awake is to play the son Mr. Tamboring man. If people get the song, then they're awake, or waking up. Anyways, i'm sleepy. Play the song and you'll see what i mean.
