the Kindness of the human soul and evolution

A few axioms

"Give without expectation of return"

Lovely axiom. Great to strive for.

But what has that ultimately been perverted to?

Yet, I fear that some have taken advantage of that and turned it to their advantage.

I try to strive to belive that people are good at their very core. I know folks have flaws
we are not perfect. Some are less perfect that others.

I have had a history of 'giving" to others ... and ended up with little or nothing to show
for it. Either I am no longer friends with that person.. or the individual I have given to
has taken and taken and even when there was a very simple thing they could do to
show gratitude.. they never acted upon it.

This isn't merely just a stranger.. but someone I was in a relationship with.

I realise that this is on one level a sign of a bad situation. They took advantage
of the many things I GAVE and then used the above axiom and essentially told me that
I "expected" something in return....

I don't think it is just him that misuses that axiom.

One has to conscious and aware of what energy we put out and what we recieve.
Yes, we DO have a lot of expectations... and are usually majorly dissappointed
when the person at the recieing end fails to appreciate or give back that energy.

But .. I was raised to believe.. and it is truth deep inside... that I feel that
instead of blaming the person and making the other person feel bad for
having expectations.. WE should strive to be better people. Be honest when
we cannot repay the kindness... or apologise when we have no repaid our debts.

Our flaws.. numerous as they all are.. should not stand there and suck all the goodness
from others.

I have never been allowed to use my ADHD as any kind of an "excuse" for not remembering
things. When I even try and explain that I have to work around my ADHD.. folks
"call me on it".. saying that is also bullshit. This has ended up me hating myself
when I let others down.. feeling like a failure because I have failed to uphold
others expectations.

yet.. when I give... and then find that the energy has never been returned to me in any
way... I am told that I am wrong for having expected anything.

Is this what the world has come to? No one wants to accept responsibility for anything
anymore..

I realise I have faults .. and I feel mortified when I cannot give back to someone who
has treated me with kindness. I may not be able to GIVE an expensive gift to match
their generosity or kindness.. I have little time... but the guilt and 'debt" weighs heavily
upon my shoulders. But we live in a free wheeling very selfish society.. and we
are now told that the OTHER person is bad for having had any expectations...

so we let folks off the hook and suck up endless losses.... I find that instead
of believing in the goodness in people.. we lower the bar to the ground.. .and
never achieve any progress.

I would be willing to take any kind word.. It is the energy.. not the actual cost value
of the action.. It is the intention... that matters.. It is the overall kindness...

so you may be broke.. and cannot pay me back.. for maybe many years.. but to walk away
and repeatedly miss opportunities to be kind.. is in my book.. a strike against you.

I don't want to be bitter and cynical.. and I feel that all this "lowered expectation "
is bullshit...

We will NEVER evolve if we do not live with integrity and kindness. If we continually
blame others for their high expectations... Sure.. some folks have UNREALISTIC
expectations.. and that is another negavtive aspect of our selfish society..

But where is the general kindness. ?