Money Crunches & Scuba Diving

^^^^^^^^^whale jail. a tourist trap.
last week, i embarked on a weeklong live-aboard scuba trip with my father in the exuma cays, bahamas, which was fabulous......... yup. we did 21 dives in 6 days. the tourism aspect of it blew me away, though.. there was a lizard perched on a cairn (a small tower of stones built as signals for hikers) & all fifteen of us kneeled or stooped to take photos or at least stopped to marvel at its statuesque pose. the reptile was likely too frightened to move, or perhaps it enjoyed the attention. in any case, the image of the semicircle of tourists silently taking shots at the lizard, so careful not to include any other tourist in the photo, has been burned into my brain as the epitome of the separation from nature.

i swam into fire coral, i bleached a hermit crab to death because i thought his shell was empty & i wanted to kill the tiny organisms on the shell so it wouldn't stink up my luggage, i littered, i walked through the nursery of the mangrove creek & murdered thousands of larvae, i listened to & enjoyed the stories about "gay pirates," i had my picture taken underwater in front of a shark feeding frenzy (flashing an "ironic peace sign"), i used dispensable utensils and products. & i enjoyed every moment, but with an unrelenting pit in my stomach (which wasn't just from nervousness about my missed period).

i like this quote from crimethinc in the book expect resistance:
"the lenses never leave the eyes of the tourists in the course of their vacation, literally or figuratively. mediation is integral to the tourist experience -- anything to keep the world at arm's length, to avoid getting involved. the tourist arrives from a world of control mania, already an expert at protecting himself to death. the bourgeois insist on being safe wherever they go -- not just from actual danger, but from everything not already anticipated, comprehended, controlled."
it's a great essay called you can run but you can't hide.

now this applies to my experience. the crew & guests aboard the boat were so kind, & i was pleased to make their collective acquaintance. however, we simultaneously indulged in the observation of, but could not directly participate in, the order/chaos of nature, since we don't have gills. oh mermaids... we actually left a negative impact upon the coral reefs. ecotourism is hypocrisy at its finest. underwater photography is pretty crazy.. let's just enjoy breathing here, folks, it's such a complication to hold a lens in front of yer face. and yes, we watched sharks' feeding frenzy upon some frozen chum, but we did so from a prescribed distance.

the animals i encountered... a sea turtle. so peaceful, majestic. our spirits joined for a moment as we both hung buoyant, still in the warm water, in its home. many organisms are afraid of divers, and hide in crevices as we approach. most pay no mind and continue on with their lives unabashed. some are extremely friendly, such as the remora eel, who tried to attach itself to divers to clean our skin, as it attaches to its usual clients, the sharks. fish known as sergeant majors tend to school around divers and follow them, occasionally pecking at their skin, occasionally drawing blood. something tells me these are not love pecks, although most divers assume that these fish "just like divers." we're absolutely alien intruders.

i began to write this all as a comment on the news story about the international monetary system, but traversed enough tangents to rope these paragraphs onto my personal blog which i have left neglected, my mind overgrown, over the past few months.

a global currency, possibly without cash, just electronic data, would make it virtually impossible to participate in society without participating in monetary exchange (as if it's any better than that at the moment). there are less and less natural refuges in which to esconce our selves away from the pressures of civilization. if i wanted to go live in the woods right now & abandon society, i would have to fake my own death to escape my mountains of student loan debt. corporate enslavement, you might say.

why pick the US $ as a global currency? it's among the least colorful & the one most riddled with clues about the illuminati. bahaman currency is glorious, with pictures of various creatures such as pineapples, sea stars, & flamingoes. & it has the same exact value as a US $; they are interchangable. of course, i'm sure there are logical explanations for this choice; we're the best country after all, & it's probably the most common form of cash on/in the globe.

i'm about to head to ecuador to study there for ten weeks! ideally, i'll find a shaman to lead me in participation in an ayahuasca adventure, but realistically, i don't want to lie to my homestay family or get myself into any kind of trouble. i'll see what the atmosphere is like.

ecuador uses the US $ as well. how did that happen? how many countries currently use it? what the fuck is money? it's the most contrived bullshit i've ever heard of. it hangs heavy over our heads. it drives us. it enslaves us. how can i escape? i'm not into the whole getting to know em then cuttin em down thing either, i'm an honest human and i don't like to fake personal relationsips, and this structure is so much bigger and so much smaller than i am. i want a collapse.

what is going on here? new world order stuff? i'm a confused citizen. i want to overcome & integrate this pessimism & sarcasm of mine. i am a light being. i am an interdimensional being, allowing the third one to suppress me. why am i too lazy to use capital letters?

I am blessed to have a loving, supportive family. I am blessed to have hot & running water. I am blessed to always have as much food as I need. Heck, I am blessed to have money. But I am learning how to do without it. I want to live in a community that uses only the gift economy. I see the seeds & the fruits of our collective efforts in the town I consider home, Olympia, WA. We're doing it. We're rising up. But being here in Newtown, PA with my family is getting me down. We throw away ziploc bags after using them once, we flush the toilet every time, and we drive everywhere. It's making me sick. But I'm so, so, so glad I have the opportunity to experience different places. The crazy thing is, these people, my family, my flesh & blood, I love them with all my might & want to convince them that shit is fucked up. But they're so set in their ways and are not open to changing. It's frustrating.. for this reason I look forward to heading back to Olympia in January. But when I'm there, I miss my family. Give and take, right?

In any case, I have no regrets. I'm about to let this mosquito draw my blood so she can continue breeding and playing her important role in the ecosystem. She's on my ankle, feeding, and I'm OK with it.