being honest, and accepting forgiveness

No one's "perfect" and in fact, we're all a little messed up in the head in one way or another, some more than others I'm sure.

As I matured through grade-school I started becoming very sexually curious about girls who I would end up sleeping next to at neighbors houses, etc.

I didn't know what it was called back then, but today the best word to describe it really is probably some type of rape.

Too much information?

I got drunk the other night with one of my best friends. I've largely grown out of that stage of curiousity backed by the thrill of trying not to get caught while doing something I shouldn't be. But the night I met this best friend of mine a couple years ago was the second to last time my creeper-self got a hold of me. And somehow the conversation the other night moved me into a direction of admitting what I had done to her.

I used to consider it my deepest darkest secret, wondered how I would turn out when I got older, never thought I would actually admit doing it to someone, and especially to their face.

We had coffee today and I hadn't seen her since the night I had told her. She just basically said in a nutshell she asked me out to tell me she forgives me, and although it's completely wrong and awful, she knows I'm one of her best friends. And that's awesome.

Nothing should get between friends.

People hide a lot behind our lives to save face. Try to maintain the crystal clean image to hold whatever reputation we think is worth something. But to truly be honest, is giving someone the gift of realizing who we actually are. If they can accept you for it, then that is true friendship. But I realize what I did in my childhood and brought into my adolescence was a mistake. Fuck up enough and you just suck, that's what I learned. But when you do, be honest, and hope for forgiveness, and it will bring you together.

Keepin my hands to myself these days.

"Oh oh oh, I go not secrets, Oh oh oh oh, I got no secrets to hide" - Flaming Lips