Why, God? Why!

Why God? Why!

Meditating today. Trying to make sense of it all. Came to a centered place, felt the grace. But standing there on top of the mountain, I began to look down at all the suffering. All the war, all the strife, all the struggle.

Why God? Why! I asked.

I then saw myself in a large Crystal Atrium, like a church. There was a man there, like a Pastor.

There is only one thing I owe you, he said.

It was like God said it. The Universe said it. The Heavens said it.

What? What could it be? What is that one thing!

It soon became clear as I sat in silence. The Crystal Atrium and I were one. That church, that was the cosmos, was one with me. 

That is the only promise. The only thing the universe owes you.

And what a gift. That you can be one with it. That you can transcend your physical body, even your ego mind, and merge with the crystal clarity. The Mind of God.

I don’t know why all the crazy shit happens.

I feel like a lot of it is nature. We judge the processes of nature, the ebb and flow, the fluctuating survival of many species. We judge it to be evil. Our disconnection from nature creates a fear of nature. We see the beasts, we fear them. But if we really spend time in nature we see miraculous animals. A magnificent diversity. It is not evil.

As far as the human drama goes, the hate, the fear, the struggle, the classes, only just rising from an almost universal slavery. It’s fucked up. There must have been much beauty in our past, though. Our beautiful cultures that remain and preserve some part of our past are a testament to that. But it’s all too true that we humans can be cruel. We can hate. We can make others suffer.

But we don’t suffer if we aren’t afraid.

In the Lost Gospel of Thomas, found in the Dead Sea Scrolls only in the last century, the figure of Jesus says,

If you knew how to suffer, you would know how to not suffer.

A lot of our problems come from fear. Why can people in more dire situations around the world suck it up and still have a smile on their face? Because they aren’t afraid.

What is the antidote to fear? Faith.

Faith is trust. Faith is courage. Faith is power. Faith is knowledge. Faith is wisdom. Leaping into the unknown. Faith doesn’t fear anything. Not even fear itself.

But before you can have faith. You must have will. The will to live, the will to survive, and the will to love. You must have the will to get out of that deep pit of fear, pain, and confusion.

When you are there, in pain and suffering, you have no sense of time. As though you were there a thousand years you want to get out, but you are afraid to get out. You want to die, but you are afraid of death. Only with great will can you rise up when you have sunk so low.

But don’t be ashamed, you were asked to sink low to experience that state. And to know that you don’t belong there. Once you gain power over fear, you will never have to return to the old hell you once knew. You may feel fear again, but now you have the power to overcome it.

Here is the secret:

Be Afraid. Then take the leap of Faith.

Don’t be afraid to be afraid. But don’t stay there. Jump with all your will. When the rocket of will shoots you up to a positive space again, you are in Heaven. Then you hit open space, free and supreme. You glide and the whole world sings with you, for you.

I don’t know why all the crazy shit happens. But I do know that we all have a choice.

I believe it is our choices that have put us where we are.

We all have will. And until we use it to rocket launch out of the hell we have created, well, crazy shit is going to continue to happen.

No one is a victim.

Life is a test. Negativity is a test. A test to see to see if negative states can truly hold us. They can’t. We are assaying all states of being to see which are the fullest and which are empty. Which can hold us, and which only temporarily trap us.

Stolen from Wiktionary

TEST

ROOT-WORD is TEST (Latin, testari) meaning to BEAR WITNESS. 

1. Testate  : TEST ate (tes’ tate) adj. 

Leaving a valid will which has been witnessed 

2. Testament : TEST ament (tes’ ta ment) n. 

A will; an agreement of faith 

[Middle English, cupel, from Old French, pot, from Latin test, testum.]

 To assay (metal) in a cupel. 

From Old French test (“an earthen vessel, especially a pot in which metals were tried”), from Latin testum (“the lid of an earthen vessel, an earthen vessel, an earthen pot, in Medieval Latin especially an earthenpot in which metals were tried; compare testa (“a piece of burned clay, a potsherd”)”), from *terstus, past participle of the root seen also in terra for *tersa (“dry land”); see terra, thirst.

WILL
From Middle English wille, from Old English willa (“mind, will, determination, purpose, desire, wish, request, joy, delight, pleasure”) (compare verb willian), from Proto-Germanic *wiljô (“desire, will”), from Proto-Indo-European *(e)welǝ- (“to choose, wish”). Cognate with Dutch wil, German Wille, Swedish vilja. The verb is not always distinguishable from Etymology 2, below.

Noun
will (plural wills)

(archaic) Desire, longing. (Now generally merged with later senses.) [from 9th c.]He felt a great will to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land.
One’s independent faculty of choice; the ability to be able to exercise one’s choice or intention. [from 9th c.]Of course, man’s will is often regulated by his reason.
One’s intention or decision; someone’s orders or commands. [from 9th c.]Eventually I submitted to my parents’ will.
(archaic) That which is desired; one’s wish. [from 10th c.]  [quotations ▼]
The act of choosing to do something; a person’s conscious intent or volition. [from 10th c.]Most creatures have a will to live.
A formal declaration of one’s intent concerning the disposal of one’s property and holdings after death; the legal document stating such wishes. [from 14th c.]
 
Posted on November 24, 2011