The Deafening Crack of the Immaculate Black Thunderbolt

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Turning over bricks wrought by the center
Leaves drift through gaps of confidence
The void asks nothing
Tells nothing
Knows nothing
Does nothing
Is nothing
And yet is everything
The heart is the local ambassador of the center of being
Metaphor in flesh
Let me show you the mountains and the valleys
Find and hide
Seek and speak and pray
To need to know
To be a biologist in an ecosystem of spirit
To give a damn
To forget everything for the sake of remembering
I saw thunderclouds of yearning storms weakened by the earth
Giving and taking
Conquering and surrendering
Lifecubes in the storehouses of eternity
Wind-up gods gathering dust on the shelf
Lungs like trees
A heart like the core of the earth
The core of the sun
The core of every star
The ever giving light of hope
Perfection only in emptiness
Life only from entropy
Water only from stone
Fire knows your name, knows your fear
Knows you better than you know yourself
There are no secrets in the void, and there is no room for cleverness or knowledge.
You will feel it
Once I heard the voice of the Earth, and it said
"I still love you no matter what happens"
It's easy to hold an idea like perfect unconditional love in your mind
It is a whole other thing entirely to feel that love shining in your face direct from the source
Wailing and cursing and fretting and fussing and bothering and blathering and still nothing
Still no change in the signal
No finished task bends or breaks the love of the void
I wanted to believe in something that could prove it didn't require my belief to exist
I wanted to feel the legitimate presence of a transcendental dimension that was larger than me
To be an intrepid explorer of hidden worlds
The truth is far simpler and far more evasive to the discerning intellect
Gods rise and fall in the wake of eternity
Infinity is real
Everything is accounted for
The true God is bigger than any God that can be imagined
It is only revealed in the stillness, the absence
Kill all your Buddhas and glimpse the ever-loving void
Forsake all adventure and dwell in the all-becoming space between
The emptiness that cracks all fear and obliterates all knowledge
All wise, all caring void
The perfect love that transcends all form
The love that exhales galaxies and inhales the dust of uncountable civilizations
All sickness seeps into the gutter
All filth is washed away by the dark waters
A perpetual motion machine
A mask for the truth
Always in masks
Always one step ahead of even the ultimate observer
The void evades all and holds all
When asked to call upon a higher power, I hesitated
What do I really believe in?
I've believed only in myself and my ability to think and work out the "problem" of spirit
So reluctant to surrender to the mystery
So eager to package the transcendental into a word, a thought, an artifact, a product
Never allowing IT to BE
Always needing to know, to be more than
Not allowing a higher power
Getting constant reminders that I don't really know anything
And can never know everything
But to BELIEVE in a higher power is to hold a thought in your head
The only thing worth believing in is what's happening right now
The process
Believe in an amorphous moving target
Believe in movement
Believe in change
Believe in breath
Believe in heartbeats and blood
Believe in now
Believe in this
I did not create this world and this beating heart
It was given to me
A gift
Asking nothing in return