Musings On Love
posted by Elisa | December 7, 2010
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IcerocketUnconditional love, universal love, real love, divinely channeled love...is not confined to one person, because then that "love" can be taken away from that one person. Then that "love" is about approving or not approving. Then that "love" is based on one person fitting or representing our "ideal" in specific ways. When we let go of our ideals, of our ideas about finding that one person who is "the most right" for us, it softens our otherwise rigidity and opens our otherwise guarded heart. When we let go of our ideals, we let go of "seeking" and when we let go of "seeking", we are then available to appreciate and support those who are right in front of us.
In fact "seeking" is in itself a defense mechanism designed to keep the heart closed to a degree, designed to convince the ego that what's in front of us "isn't working" because "they're not the right one for us". When there doesn't need to be "the right one" anymore, we drop the internal critic, the saboteur that is always looking for flaws in the other so it can get on with seeking again. When we are channeling divine love...when we are feeling the fullness of love from within us, we've evolved beyond the critic-mentality and into support and encouragement. Real love desires only to uplift.
Our guarded heart ~ which is to say, our somewhat closed heart ~ is stuck in the false belief that love is coming from others, and therefore stuck in "seeker mode" looking for "the right one" who is going to "give us love" in "the right way" for us. When we're no longer seeking to "get the love" in the way that is "right for us", we've transcended the ego's need to criticize others...to disapprove of them and of their behaviors. As we awaken to the dynamic and powerful current of unconditional love flowing through us, our only desire is for others to be as happy and fulfilled as we are, and our sole purpose is to electrify the atmosphere around us with the presence of this love.Â
Comments
The flaw
— Dec 07, 2010
The flaw of comparison sinks many potential relationships indeed ! That the best one can hope for is to match the current state of neurochemistry inside someone else's head is more than daunting. As is the knowledge that even a slight deviation from expected behavior will give rise to a cascade of short chain neuro-peptides & these can alter the others' perceptions and feelings for you.
Sadly all romance is in fact chemical.
Still I appreciate your optimism !
" A rising tide - drowns those without boats " - Cee Are
Cee Are, thank you for
— Dec 07, 2010
Cee Are, thank you for reading and responding, but could I ask you to clarify what you mean by "Still, I appreciate your optimism"? What exactly do you see me being optimistic about here? Thanks! : )
optimism
— Dec 09, 2010
Well I find it optmistic that you still belive in love, that you write about how it makes you feel, that you can share your feelings about what's wrong with this most wonderful of feelings, that you sought and found a workable path to the purest forms of love and that you were moved to share this . To me that shows you still experience hope for yourself and others and that is amazingly optimistic !
And thank you Michael for the reminder that the flesh is not all we are, actually perhaps a less important part , indeed I am having problems finding venus , too much concentration on the physical side .
" A rising tide - drowns those without boats " - Cee Are
Cee, Thanks for answering.
— Dec 10, 2010
Cee,
Thanks for answering. It's essential to differentiate between love as a feeling, and love as a practice. I've come to understand that genuine love, the kind of love that can transform the planet, is volitional rather than emotional. Spiritual maturity is this realization that romantic love is not real love at all, but that real love is a spiritual practice - an action we take regardless of another person's behavior. In my view, I've come to see that there is no other option but to "believe" in love, or else we are contributing to the destruction of the planet, each other, and ourselves.
Love
— Mar 17, 2011
I think the beauty of polyamory is that you don't have to pick the "perfect one." If you have to pick just one person to be with the rest of you life, you have to be very picky. But if we love everybody and let our relationships develop naturally and honestly and let each relationship just go wherever it goes, then we don't have to reject anyone and we don't have to be rejected. I want each friendship I have to grow deeper as we go without regard to defining and labeling the relationship i.e. boyfriend/girlfriend, platonic/erotic/romantic, gay/straight, etc. Then each person can be honest about their feelings and really be free with their feelings and express them. I know this my not be the kind of love elisa was talking about but I felt I had to express this.
Storm
