Flowing With Purpose

I have this bird cage candle holder that I kept tucked in a closet because it reminded me of how caged I used to feel in my life. It's beautiful and grand, but it always inspired a sensation of entrapment that sent me spinning. So, six months ago, I put it in a closet, out of sight, awaiting an appropriate new owner.

An astrologer recently told me in a reading that I have what is called a Grand Trine in my chart and that fulfilling my purpose would bring great gifts to me. Its when three different planets are in relationship all trining each other creating a pyramid, the strongest structure. When its activated it is extremely powerful. For me this Grand Trine has everything to do with intimacy because it involves Vesta in the 7th house. Vesta- the eternal flame and the 7th house- intimate partnerships and relationships. But wait, my North Node and Saturn are also involved...

"If the whole world crumbles, what do you still have?" says the astrologer on the reading playback. "A connection to Spirit. In the highest expression of this signature, it is a very intimate relationship of reciprocal trust between you and and whatever you think is creator." He also went on to tell me that its activation was involved with two other very difficult, obscure and rewarding paths- Saturn (which holds hands with Pluto in the third house of my chart) and North Node- Destiny. When I heard this I began to wonder if what came next was truly accessible to me at all.

He asked me to remember when I felt most happy, when I opened up a new liberating door inside of my mind, and when I very passionately merged in a relationship with the divine. He asked me to recollect traumatic experiences that make me happy- Saturn in Scorpio. And then North Node in Cancer- finding the community and group of friends that nurture and take care of me. "In the midst of a dream, almost, love potion # 9 appears, and holding it is Romeo," says the astrologer, "If you open all the circuits, Vesta in the 7th house will be centered in the heart of that person you never ever dreamt about. And that's where the faith comes in too. I tell everybody: STOP FUCKING LOOKING! Work on yourself, follow your bliss, and if you're true to yourself, and you're happy, you will find perfect love in another person. The two other aspects of this trine don't have anything to do with looking for intimacy at all, and then... it comes."

Flabbergasted and a little disbelieving, I pondered this. I thought back on what these traumatic experiences that made me happy were in the past: leaving my cozy life as a stay-at-home-mom in sleepy Utah to live out my destiny in California with no money and a whole bunch of blind faith. Later, flying to Paris all alone not telling anyone where I was staying or how I could be reached. I remembered when I arrived in the CDG airport after 20 hours of traveling with a 50 lb. bag over my shoulder, no cell phone, and realizing I was going to be utterly alone over seas in a new world for several days, and the recent release of the film Taken, wherein young American women were taken and sold as sex slaves. A moment of terror set in followed immediately by blind faith; a knowing that the divine was with me and had a hand in orchestrating this experience... Exhilarating!

Fast-forward several months, long after the reading in which I reminisced on all my frightening pleasures... After the promising start and abrupt end of what at first seemed to be a good relationship, I found myself wondering if the predictive nature of astrology had any meaning to it at all! I had made more blind faith decisions in that time- leaving a high-paying corporate job and moving in with my estranged mother to follow my dreams being one of them. I had also begun to form a real community of authentic connections with people who supported me- my family, friends to collaborate with over the web, a new landlord for my workspace who brought me healing gifts every time I saw her... I was doing my part to follow these astrology instructions, but began to feel as though the relationship piece might have been a hoax. What the heck though, two out of three aint bad!

Startlingly, this was all okay because, for the first time, I was independently happy. I had no money- literally none in the bank yet still managed to start a business, I was healing a deep wound with my mother, enjoying time with my daughter, podcasting about things that really mattered to me even if they pissed people off or made me seem overly optimistic, and generating a group of friends that really nurtured and supported my well being. In short- I was enjoying the benefits of learning my true value and living on faith. Something in me was free in a way that it could never again be shackled, and I reveled in this liberation. At this point of freedom, considering my unwavering commitment to my own happiness (and utter unwillingness to settle) I figured an ideal loving relationship was at the bottom of the list of possibilities, and I was okay with that.

One day, while cleaning out my closet and collecting linens for my newly opened Soul Guide Practice, I found the bird cage candle holder and actually thought it would look nice sitting on my dresser. All the old resentment of it was gone, so I dusted it off and put a golden candle in its center. Marveling at its beauty, I wondered why I ever considered giving it away, and was glad no one had responded to the craigslist ad I had posted for it several months earlier.

Life got better and better.. My vision for my project became increasingly clear, I began to meet all the right people, I began to openly seek guidance from the divine and act upon that guidance, my practice opened and word spread rapidly. I was even enjoying how adjusted I had become to being a single mom relying on a bike and public transit by choice- I felt relief as I thought back on that shiny Audi I left behind in that driveway some years ago in Utah, a memory I feared would haunt me forever when I left. Week by week emails of support and interest poured in over the project, and good friends appeared each time I simply requested so from my Guardian Angel. Occasionally I reveled in how much my life had changed from that time when I felt so caged and trapped, and how free I made myself feel by simply choosing to do so and holding fast to those choices. I now had vision, direction from my inner light, and guidance from the divine. Although challenging, it was bliss.

I had all but forgotten about the relationship promise of the grand trine the astrologer shared with me some months prior. Did I really NEED a relationship when I was already so happy? No, I was fulfilled just by the feeling of purpose in my life. And anyway, was a relationship really possible given my very specific, unique, and obscure lifestyle? My new dream had become to live in a fully self-sustained home, to share empowering information with the masses, and to travel the world spreading love. I figured it would take a miracle to find a mate who was even the least bit interested in such things.

So I wrote, and spoke, and worked, and emailed and rode and dreamed. Then one day, out of the blue, came a character with whom I shared instant rapport. We talked about energetic understanding, consciousness, and love. We talked about freedom, liberation and peace of mind. We talked about the woes of dating and the highs of self-discovery. Attraction brewed, passion stirred, and infatuation began. Simultaneously, my individual divine experiences began to accelerate and become enhanced at a quantum rate. Another great gift of experience on the path.

Fast forward again to present time... This new person seems to have a charging effect on my life. Since we met I have experienced heightened energetic phemonena; reading energies more clearly than ever before, attracting clients who wish to experience energy balancing, even though I don't advertise such a thing, meditations wherein I can pick up on energy in an instant, meeting someone who can help me expand the project globally in a very positively influential way, gifts that meet the exact need of the moment, healers coming into my life to trade and help me raise my vibration, phone calls from people offering help just at the moment I prepare to call them for such a request, the right books with the exact information I need coming from left field, increased positive attention... Gateways opening and the fourth dimension suddenly visible to me.

It seems as though this effect has been mutually positive, and, naturally, we entered a relationship wherein we agreed to explore the capacity of our spiritual power together... Really? Such a thing exists???? I'm blown away! While it is still very new and I have no clue as to what tomorrow brings, there is one very real thing that I can celebrate in this moment: I do not NEED this awesome relationship to work in order to be happy! I was already happy, following my bliss, and taking risks. This relationship came as an addition, a bonus, a token of delight on what was already a delightful journey after all. I am free to experience bliss, no matter what happens, and that is LIBERATION! I guess that cooky astrologer might have been right after all... only time will tell if this blissful experience will last, but one thing is for sure: it, like all the other experiences before, has busted me open in a new way and has given me growth I could not otherwise imagine or fathom.

Let this serve as a reminder that what they say is true, follow your bliss, the rest will come!

Until next time friends, take good care of your spirit, and thanks for reading! :)