Love, Comedy, and The Universe: How I arrived at Evolver

"The world is like a ride at an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it, you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud. And it's fun, for a while....But it doesn't matter, because... it's just a ride, and we can change it any time we want."

- Bill Hicks

I vividly remember the first time I saw that Bill Hicks DVD. I was an 18 year old kid, fresh out of one of those stereotypically terrible high school experiences where I felt alone, abandoned by friends and family, and hopelessly depressed. My anxiety and depression were intense stumbling blocks to making friends, getting into a relationship, or even just enjoying life period.

I went to community college that year, trying to start fresh. I began writing for the local college paper, and met some alternative-minded individuals. I was invited over to one of their houses, where they happened to have the DVD of Bill Hicks on.

I had never seen or heard comedy that was both shockingly funny and at the same time...enlightening. I recall sitting on the couch listening to his 'It's just a ride' bit, and thinking...YES. This man knows the answers and he's not holding back...this is the TRUTH, and my god it's hilarious.

In the months that followed, my life began to change.

I began experimenting with Marijuana with a new friend of mine, someone from high school that I never really knew until after we graduated. He was also a like-minded individual, interested in comedy and philosophy. Through smoking and hanging out, I began to let more of the world into my heart.

Then came another component of Hick's stand up routines: LSD. The story of my first Trip is somewhat of a personal legend, I must admit. It showed me firsthand the amazing potential online communities have for connecting people.

I used to be addicted to internet message boards, specifically boards that revolved around Radiohead and videogames. One day, I was posting on GameFaqs, and read a post from someone that mentioned they liked radiohead. I told him about this Radiohead board I posted at, and that he should try it out.

Try it out did he ever.

He posted so much that it affected his grades, and he ended up dropping out of the University of South Carolina as a result. Not only did he leave college, but he moved to Ohio, where he would become roommates with...another member of the board. Seeing as I was from Michigan, I decided to come down to visit with my internet buddies and have a good time.

One of his friends had some LSD, and we both tried it out. In addition to the whole ego dissolution/mystical wonderment that can often accompany one's first trip, I was also struck by the immense implications of fate: I was tripping with someone because one year prior I met them online and made a passing comment about a band.

Following this trip, I was changed forever. The doors of perception swung open, and I didn't look back. I began experimenting more with LSD as a result of this encounter. One instance that further changed my perspective was when I was on 7 hits of acid, in a deeply meditative state...I changed the room into a bright red orange yellow swirl of mentally projected fireworks. Whatever I wanted to see, I saw. Then I walked to the bathroom, and looking in the mirror...staring back at me...was a third eye...and I realized that all the myths and mystics are true. I am the light of consciousness, and the potential in my inner-space is no less great than the potential in Outer Space. I was so struck by this event that I shaved my head as a result...I guess you could say I felt religious.

This event occurred in 2007. For the past 3 years, as a result of these experiences, I have researched the paranormal, the mystical, the transcendental. Beginning with Breaking Open The Head, and then delving into Jungian psychology and shamanistic literature.

This past fall, I began reading about Jung's concepts of the shadow and love. I read how another person's anima or animus will trigger your own in a very instant way, and that love can happen without you consciously making the decision to 'fall in love'.

Two days before Halloween, I decided to randomly have a party. Around 3am, a few girls I had never met showed up, one of whom I instantly hit it off with. Unfortunately, she had to leave abruptly, and I didn't get her number or last name. I was left thinking that I NEEDED to know this person.

Two days later on Halloween night, I walked into a random party at 3am, and on the steps was this girl who had a third eye painted on her forehead...and I looked past her makeup and realized she was the girl from the other night. The connection of her painted third eye with my own religious third eye experience was enough for me: I leaned in and kissed her...we've been passionately in love ever since.

Since my own awakening, I continue to be struck with amazing coincidences/synchronicities that guide my life in fascinating new directions. I've recently been performing stand up comedy myself, with the hope of not only making people laugh, but also perhaps providing a spark for spiritual growth.

My ride has taken me down paths I never could have imagined...I have only just begun to investigate the rabbit hole to my soul, and I'm sure Bill Hicks has played a large part in me getting there.