On Kindness and Inner Battles

Some recent Evolver discussions have earnestly explored how to best integrate with one another, both on evolver.net and in our greater communities. In response, the most consistent thought that's been rattling around my head has been about inner battles. And the fact that virtually everyone is engaged in one.

I was once deeply moved when I heard Michael Jackson express that everyone's fighting their own inner battle. I recently heard that Plato had said it first. On researching the expression's origin, I found the following paragraph. It is a beautiful statement, and I'm grateful to have found it.

"This man beside us also has a hard fight with an unfavouring world, with strong temptations, with doubts and fears, with wounds of the past which have skinned over, but which smart when they are touched. It is a fact, however surprising. And when this occurs to us we are moved to deal kindly with him, to bid him be of good cheer, to let him understand that we are also fighting a battle; we are bound not to irritate him, nor press hardly upon him nor help his lower self." -John Watson, 1903

I love that phrase, "And when this occurs to us…." In other words, in that moment when we are aware…when we are observing our self…when we consciously intend to express our highest self -- we then have a responsibility, an obligation, to be kind, friendly, honest…and nonabrasive.

It's age-old wisdom, right? Every line of spiritual truth has voiced this basic precept. Treat others well.

I live in a fairly conservative neighborhood in Alabama. Some people have yard signs listing the Ten Commandments. Others are homophobic racists. Do I want to socialize with these people? Probably not. But I will treat them well when I pass them on the sidewalk. How simple is a smile, really? It doesn't mean I'm enabling them, or agreeing with them. It means I am sharing the light. I am expressing love.

Mankind continues to be so tribally-oriented, it surprises me sometimes. As we seek our own flock, we nurture our own comfort zone. It can be so easy to move into judgment, superiority, indignation, frustration, and even anger when we are faced with someone whose beliefs differ from our own…beliefs about culture, politics, money, sex, the earth…whole cosmologies, in fact.

We are each having enormously solitary experiences, in actuality. Our experience is flavored by those around us, but in the end, we are driven by our own perception of our experience, not anyone else's. Can we appreciate that, really? Can we appreciate that everyone is simply engaging in one layer of perceived reality, or another? Each of us is weaving our own fiber into the fabric of life. (That's an over-used idiom, perhaps, but for good reason.) Each of us, from our closest ally to our most diametrically-opposed acquaintance, is here in service to the other.

When deciding who to hang out with, who to nurture relationship with, to be of service to, to learn from, I appreciate this wisdom from Carlos Castaneda: "Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use."

Our responsibility is to recognize, in every encounter, our common bond. To paraphrase Marianne Williamson, "Everyone loves everyone. They just don't remember."

I want to know that I have embraced my spiritual nature well enough that I can consciously express the Golden Rule from moment to moment to moment to moment.

I want to be able to get along with everyone, with no room for judgment to seep in, with the consistent and compassionate awareness that every one of us has wounds, and poisoned perceptions.

The best I can offer is my highest expression of myself. And I embrace my personal responsibility to ferret out my own inner conflicts, in order that my light shines a bit more brightly.

From Rumi,
"This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond."

I do my best to recognize my own inner battles. And I recognize that you have your own. We may hide them well, yet…

Here we are.

Peace,
Kelly

"If you hear the song I sing,
You will understand…listen…
You hold the key to love and fear,
all in your trembling hand.
Just one key unlocks them both.
It's there at your command.

"Come on people now,
smile on your brother.
Everybody get together,
Try to love one another
right now,
right now,
right now."

(The Youngbloods)