The dilemma of homunculi, infinite regress, fate, the layers of this onion of my reality and the sacrifice of the innocence that resides at its core.

once there was a mule, not just your average mule; for an ass, he was
quite intelligent. this ass, in his long hours of back breaking labor
for the benefit of his master perceived that his master was not truly
his master- he was his own master. so, he stopped pulling the plow
and lay down in the field to further ponder his existence. upon doing

Arising early in the morning before the light of the sun has shown itself upon my face as if being called by a mystic force. I am drawn to meet at the water’s edge.

a single grain of sand falls into my perception
harsh, rigid and cutting into this flesh
i work endlessly day in and day out
to coat it and smooth its coarseness
from it i create
the most beautiful pearl
when this shell is split
and this flesh dissolved
the pearl is found
perfect, glorious to gaze upon
shimmering in the light of the perceiver that has found it
so to this life

little ant marching
following the trail of those come before
endless circling back and forth
along lines laid
ordered by these senses to
.....follow
.......follow
........follow
until at its end
it falls over in the path of those coming up behind
to be lifted and carried back
for consumption by the new

i feel this larger self rooted in all that is
as i envision all that is around this body
i lose me and become i
we are the soaring birds
the grass carpet beneath these feet
all the things that scurry to perpetuate living
the rooted tree
and i am rooted
my strength is our strength
our strength is unity
unity is my strength
i am everything in this single breath.

here i am, fully recognizing the turmoil of humanity and despite all my efforts...i am also a manifestation of this flawed existence...

Cleaved asunder
Same body divided by monster and light
The battle that is witnessed outside of this flesh
Is a shadowed reflection of the war that rages beneath it
A thousand lashes cannot tame
The sorrow, shame, anger, hate, fear that pervade within

Damaged goods
I am a mess. You are right emotion is a dangerous business and I am not immune to the onslaught that she ravages upon this body in being awakened.