I Caught Something on the Census Form

My friends came over tonight to hang out and talk about Kim Kardashian’s latest problems on her show and private life. The topic soon took a 180 and we found ourselves talking of the Census.

My friend pointed out questions eight and nine. Luckily, I had a form in my place (which I haven’t filled out or mailed yet) and we checked it out. Mind you, I am an American. My parents immigrated here from Mexico. I was raised here and educated here, and now that I am 27 years old, I pay taxes here. In other words, I am now a law abiding slave. I never liked to be called Mexican American or none of that bullshit because I have never been to Mexico, ever, and I don’t think Tijuana counts, so I have never been to “my” homeland because “my” homeland is the “United States of America”. There I said it. I don’t care if “my” own people call me a traitor to my “race”. I’ll admit that I am a coconut. Brown on the outside, white on the inside.
Anyway, Question 8 reads ‘Is Person 1 of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin?’ I obviously answer, ‘Yes, Mexican, Mexican Am., Chicano.’

Question 9 reads: ‘What is Person 1’s race?’ Here are the choices: ‘The first choice is White, the second Black, African American, or Negro, then American Indian or Alaska Native, then Asian Indian, then Chinese, Filipino, after that Other Asian (whatever that means), then Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Native Hawaiian, Guamanian or Chamorro, then Samoan, then Other Pacific Islander, and finally some other race.’

Why is Mexican not a race one may ask? Mexicans are the bastard children of the Spaniards who systematically raped the Aztec women hundreds of years ago during the Spanish Conquest. Then technically, Mexico is populated by a mixed-race of bastard children from Europeans. Don’t believe me? Look up your world history.

Then you are probably wondering what box I checked to this question? I am not white, black, Asian, or Samoan. Then what race am I? Where did I come from? Who am I?

I pondered about this for a moment and then checked the box that read ‘Some Other Race.’ In the blank box I wrote the word ‘Human Being.’

I realized then and there I belonged to the human race. We all do regardless of which skin color you may possess.

Your move US Census.