What would the fiercest ayahuasca vision, or other psychedelic plant vision teach you about -- the nature of reality here in earth, the interconnectedness of living & life-supporting systems, other species...?

[Originally written as a comment in response to an article on Reality Sandwich: http://www.realitysandwich.com/radical_selfacceptance
Thought I would edit ever-so-slightly & repost here.]

So... have been staying with my mom in Texas for the past week or so.

We have had, by & large, a *lovely* visit. Doing the Master Cleanse together, talking deeply, expressing grief, expressing even more gratitude. It has been a beautiful healing time, that far surpasses what I ever imagined possible with my mom as an angst-y teenager & young adult. (I'm now 31)

Or: On being afraid of my own ego.

I would honestly be very curious to know - how many of you other evolvers out there have had the following experience: anxiety about aesthetic form.

?

Maybe the reason so many people have never figured out what they "want to do with their life" is that -- we're not meant to be doing so much of anything in the first place!

30 years old, almost 31, & I have wracked my brain my whole adult life trying to discern *exactly* what spirit/God/this life wants for me.

sitting in silence. Or the idea of sitting in silence. Needing nothing, just transmitting & embodying luscious energy & light.

Lately, for a long while now -maybe for as long as I can remember, I have felt partially detached from many sources of pleasure.

I can be having a deeply engaging conversation with someone meaningful to me ~ & there's still a part of me that's detached.

I've been inspired by the Navajo concept of the "Beauty Way" ~ I seek to live in a way that is beautiful, & whole & true, energetically, spiritually, & yes even aesthetically. With my vocation supporting & expressing my inner essence, cutting clutter out of my life & letting what is essential remain. A minimalist room with a couple of carefully chosen adornments.

& I just thought I'd share that with the community, for some reason.

A family that I grew up with & am still very close to was recently broken up by adultery ~ the husband leaving for another woman, & all that bit. These people are in their mid-50's.