Overcoming The Fear of Rollercoasters

The things we unwitting do to each can be profound. I once made my 8 year old son come on a roller coaster ride with me when he did not want to. He was afraid, but I selfishly wanted to go on ride and I made him come with me in spite of his protests. Before the ride began he sat in the seat with his arms folded tightly across his little chest, angrily and defiantly, but moments after the ride began we hit a bump, which abruptly raised him high off his seat and scared that pants off him because he wasn't ready for it. Of course he immediately grabbed the restraining bar for the rest of the ride but when the ride was over he was some mad. Fuming at me was more accurate, but the energy of that anger had to go somewhere ultimately, because a kid can't stay mad at his Dad forever.

What he did was to unconsciously transfer his anger away from me and directed it toward the roller-coaster instead. For once unresolved anger gets inside us it has to show-up somewhere. In this case, I would later learn, it would manifest in the form of a phobia...or more precisely, the fear of roller coasters.

Now fast forward two years. My son and I had met up with his mom and sisters at Six Flags Amusement Park one summer day. My son and I were separated from my wife and daughters and hadn't all been together in those two years. We had a great day until it came time for the roller coaster ride, which my son's younger sisters eagerly wanted to go on. And so did my son...I could see he really wanted to go on the ride but he couldn't. I could see in his face his confusion and frustration because he really, really wanted to go on that ride with his sisters, but another part, deeper within, wouldn't let him. He was in an awful state of confusion, and now tears, but fortunately, in that moment, I saw deeply what I had done to him that day two years earlier.

It was horrible and painful to see what I caused by forcing him against his will to ride that earlier roller-coaster. I took him aside and reminded him of that last roller coaster ride. I explained that I was very wrong to do what I did making him go on it when he didn't want to and I apologized right then and there. I told him his fear wasn't really toward the roller-coaster but was really unreleased upset and anger toward me inside him...that his original anger and upset he had against me that day now shows up toward roller-coasters, and that is why in now feels afraid to go on a roller-coaster again. I also told him that all he had to do was forgive me for what I did that day and he would be OK.

He looked me right in the eye, paused thoughtfully for a moment, and then his eyes light up with recognition. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me giving me a big hug before running off to catch up with his sisters. All three of them then went on the roller-coaster and had great fun...5 or 6 times I think.

I have never forgotten that lesson