A Thread

(11/13/2011)

It's so easy to slip into the snare of negative thinking. Especially when your senses are provided so much evidence.

For every negative thought, there should be an equal and positive affirmation.

Refocus.

It's probably not that important anyway.

"no direction but a faith in her decision"

I'm learning to quell fear. It really does come down to a decision. It's not an easy one though. It's a decision you tuck into bed only to soon forget about. It can seem so unattainable, especially if you don't exert control over your own mind. If you exert your 'self', you exert the situation. It stems from the humility that you only can have so much power over a given situation. The important thing is to not fear possibility, but to make the most out of the current moment through heightened control of self and complete awareness. Of course, emotions can compromise the ability, or the will to assert.

This seems to be applicable through many different mental issues. In my case, it is relevant to my anxiety. I've counterbalanced it with rationality for many years, but eventually it began coming out more intermittently, but also more extreme and ugly ways.

To me, it is not a pleasant feeling to lose control. Whats even worse, it seems like sometimes when we are close to the edge, we feel like we WANT to lose control. We throw ourselves into it. I seem to fear self accountability the most. I've learned that I don't like dealing with regret, but that I'm good at taking accountability, at least with others.

"Listen to a muscle memory,
Contemplate what I've been clinging to"