My friends, my dear friends. I'm sorry to have disappeared entirely for the better part of the last year. I have gone in all sorts of directions, and the writing was difficult to carry on in the circumstances I was living with last year.

Hey dear friends and readers...

What is it about the sun that makes us deny the shadow? We revel in the dark until we find a light, and then we escape it as though it were an epidemic of catastrophic sorts. Lost under a veil of life and death, light and dark, we will always fight for the light of life, that is always our initial base, our lead.

It's been difficult to write as of late, so sorry for the delay. As it happens, I am recently out of the hospital from a bad fall wherein I needed surgery to put some broken bones back together. The narcotic pain killers have also numbed my ability to tell my story, though, truth be told, this is my third attempt at writing the next installment of my story.

It seemed that all of the kids around me had a plan, and I came to associate planning with money, which I didn't have, so I didn't do it.

My lies have always saved me. Years after these events I read this sentence in a computer-generated horoscope and I gasped out loud, right there in the busy coffee shop, where I first discovered that we are sometimes transparent to technology. The spring of sophmore year was better than freshman year in one way: I found my own coping skills.

Fifteen was a tough year. My stepmom read my journal to find that I had lost my virginity to another girl at the age of 14. My first girlfriend and I had broken up at the start of 1997 after 'Juanita', stepmom, had threatened to tell her physically abusive mother about us if she didn't stop seeing me.

How does a woman arrive at feminism when she comes from sex, drugs and rock and roll? Why is feminism such an unpopular, un-liked thing? How did I go from stripper to conscious feminist? How did our ideas of masculine, feminine and sex get here Evolvers? What is a woman's story and on what basis are her opinions formed?