Perspective, Ego, and Communication
posted by Sean Burkholder | December 14, 2009
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IcerocketI'm eager to find a means of communication with others that is so effective that the subject matter is what is considered primary in the communication, and the focus on "me", the identity, moves into the background.
I've had visions of community, sustainability, growth, and progressive technological and social development for a long time now. I've been putting pieces together all this time, weaving a picture that seems to look similar to the visions of other folk, but certain things in the picture I see are missing from those of others, and vice-versa. I recognize this as an entirely natural phenomenon called "perspective".
An individual perspective will never encompass the whole story. The whole story - which I don't think has ever been told yet - is like a puzzle, and each of us holds a piece, our own perspective on whatever it is we behold from the vantage point of our consciousness. There will always be overlap, and there will always be areas without overlap. Currently, it looks to me like many don't trust the perspective of others, especially those "outside" of the domain of shared perspective. Yet by way of that phenomenon termed "six degrees of separation", we are linked even to those folks. If we were to put all of the perspectives of all people together in an organized and coherent fashion, I suspect we'd end up with something that looks not unlike a faceted diamond, or perhaps a highly organized living organism like ourselves.
It has therefore been a challenging situation for me when I attempt to communicate the vision I've been living with to others where there is only a little overlap in perspective. The most common response I've gotten is, "Well that's your thing Sean." And I'm left scratching my head, because aren't food, clothing, shelter, access to health care and education everyone's things? I mean, really? Isn't resolving the subject of survival fears something that would and could be addressed so that everyone might have a chance to access their creative core and bring unimaginable wonders to life? How does this have anything to do with "me", except that I see it from a point of perspective that identifies those things as essential to any successful collective action on our part as a planetary species?
In spite of the different ways I've tried to show what I can see to others, the focus still tends to be on me, and this has been hugely galling. There are so many traps for the egoic identity to fall into as one puts forth ideas and suggestions to the world. I daresay that many of today's "leaders", no matter what field or discipline they represent, have started taking up more of peoples' attention than the subject matter of the field or discipline itself. A gradual shift moves onto what this or that person is doing, what they have, and other such nonsense, while the actual topics of interest get watered down and pushed aside in favour of self-aggrandizing popularity.
What it seems like is the need for a shift away from words and onto the output of activity, yet how does anything get rolling without some flow of words, some activity of communication?
Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions?
Comments
Good issue you are raising
— Dec 14, 2009
Good issue you are raising here ... this in parts has actually been on my mind for the past week or such. I got into a fight with a friend of mine over something I even back then deemed not important at all. We tried to re-enact the feeling/discussion by exchanging our views on the situation thereafter in written word. Obviously what became clear is that we both viewed the situation in a different way. We had different experiences and feelings. There is no way we could see what happened in the same way - and I propose even, we don't have to. What is needed is to try and understand the other person and their perspective, respect their feelings and what they want to say.
However, as you have pointed out - this is not an easy task now is it. And I think you are right in saying that the ego gets into the way. I am by no means perfect i.e. I fall into the grips of my ego especially when I feel (personally) attacked. But I have tried to take a step back lately. I don't try to force my opinion onto anyone around me (I used to, I am aware of that) but even when I just want to state my opinion it often is thrown back into my face. As it is seen as if I wanted to pressure someone to agreeing with me. And I do not know how to counteract that. I mean, do I need to stop sharing my opinion or my ideas? Only because others are not comfortable with it or do not agree with it? In my eyes it would be great if we could just exchange our views (as you said our perspectives) without being judged or pushed into a corner. And that it be seen as what it is - offering the view and feelings and all - without wanting to "change" anyone but more just to throw these things into the big pot. For others to take out what they wish, or leave it all in there. I would like more people to throw in stuff so I can have a look through it, take what fits in with me. And not for them to try and wanna make me "see". It is so much competition - competition of the egos if you would like. Does it have to be. Does one have to have an idea and be the master of that idea? Can not with the help of others this idea become even grander than if it were only the idea of the one? If communicated without a sense of ownership. And through this actions would follow? That would benefit everyone?
I get told that talking about things is useless as nothing gets changed, started or such. Well, sure, with doing things, starting actions more would move in and follow. But would they just follow because something got started and they are just sheep or because they believe. How can they believe without having thought about it, talked about it, exchanged and communicated? I doubt that no words but only actions are the way forward. Funny, an image from the movie Forrest Gump just sprung into my head - when he started running - and everyone followed without even knowing why he was running...hmm...
Anyways, I don't know what a solution would be or a way forward for all. I will just try for myself restrict my "opinions" i.e. re-formulating them, in the sense of them being more "information" than "opinionated", especially when around those who feel easily threatened by new ideas, approaches. Not sure whether this is the right way, but maybe it needs to be a soft approach rather than trying to go through the brick wall? Maybe I will not be able to stick to this...and maybe (hopefully) someone will have another idea. I am just sharing my thoughts here ;)
I appreciate your sharing.
— Dec 18, 2009
I appreciate your sharing. The one message that you've received about talking being useless I have also, and lately, I've been in some agreement with it, to the extent that "talk is safe". So long as we're just talking, we're not actually doing the things we're talking about...we're not actually gathering and building a new society that *works*. I think part of the increasing unsettledness that many people are experiencing has something to do with the uncertainty about how to approach this next, natural step or transition into higher states of community, cooperation, and partnership, on the levels of self with self/other/world. On the one hand, there is an actual energetic phenomenon going on that could be described as "a higher level of connectivity". People are being pulled toward higher and cleaner forms of relationship that maximize the potential of each one's contribution, but on the other hand, there's no precedent or model for us to follow. It's literally new ground that we have to break, and the fear of "doing it wrong" or making mistakes and being at the mercy of media brutality seems to have a majority of the best-intentioned folk paralyzed.
After all, what is step one? Given that we can hardly relate to each other without some party getting offended, being concerned about being heard or being right, or that another is wrong...lost in all of that greater boundary'd domain of egos and such...we need to be able to move to "seeing" in our communication. I've been really feeling lately that some "action" to back up the talk would help empower the words being spoken, and to consistently work with those processes integrated...ie. walking our talk...would greatly strengthen the growth of consciousness in the world. Courage to speak truthfully in all situations is the only requirement. Everything else can be worked through.
Ego
— Dec 17, 2009
I believe the ego can be a powerful thing, and one must consciously make efforts to eradicate it. For many reasons being, we take everything personal, when in truth we should not take ANYTHING personal (not even ourselves). I caught myself last night with ego being my problem, my boyfriend threw an idea out there about how we should take more steps to consciously stop shopping and spending, and my ego said I could not let him know he was right and what I thought was wrong..Once I realized my ego had gotten a hold of me I let him know and validated him. This is just an example of how our ego can get in the way. I also understand how you feel about being too "opinionated" Ck. I currently live in an area of close minded small town oriented people, who feel threatened by new ideas and perspectives. When I try to talk to them or present a new idea to them they shut me down by saying "Oh you think too much Al" or just by simply ignoring me. The only place I have found refuge is within Evolver and my partner. With evolver I have been able to voice my opinions ( Or perspective haha) much more than I have ever been able to do. So, please do not stop your mind from thinking of new and excited ideas or perspectives, just share them with everyone on Evolver, instead of those who discriminate against such thoughts.
I don't know if this is such an amazing idea ( to stop talking to those who ignore new ideas and talk about it with the Evolver family) but it is something I have been trying myself and has been working nicely. I hope I have helped, even if it is a little.
Peace be with you,
Alex
Hey Alex. Have you ever
— Dec 18, 2009
Hey Alex. Have you ever looked into what the ego is, really? We talk about it like it's a thing..."my body, my soul, my ego". It's a fragment then, a part of us, but not all of us. Looking around, it seems like there's a malfunction, that most people think that they *are* their ego. I'd like to offer up a different perspective, one that doesn't require eradication of the ego, just an understanding of its function or purpose within the context of our whole self.
If we can accept as real that all consciousness emerges from the same source, then that correlates with the idea that "we are all one". What "I" become in that case is a point of reference, in infinity and eternity, that consciousness uses to reference itself. That point of reference is called "Sean". The ego serves as the functional aspect that enables "me" to interact with "you", and reference our own passage through life's experiences and learning, and share them with each other.
The ego and the dimension of perception we call "material reality" is all boundary-defined. With everything founded upon the identity of the reference point, it exaggerates the function of the ego. The ego becomes like an overfed stomach that is always hungry. We can nurture it back to its natural state though...it's work, but work worth doing.
It sounds a bit like you'd like it if more people agreed with you, but it doesn't seem to be for any of us to decide what is best for anyone else, except perhaps when we're responsible for a dependent. If that whole human-as-cellular-unit metaphor has any worth, it could point us back at ourselves, and back at the inner voice that speaks to us about joy and the things that make us happiest. It's always when we're in those states that we feel our best and do our best. If everyone were to be functioning on that level, can you see where that might go? How do the trillions of cells in my body receive the message instantaneously that I want to extend my hands and type, while at the same time, carry out their metabolic processes, and interact with each other and their environment as individual, self-aware units?
Just because others don't agree with our perspective in life doesn't negate either person's. The contrast is like the difference between stomach cells and pancreas cells though, not right/wrong or good/bad. And I think it's in ego that judgment amplifies separation and difference and makes it harder to accept. That said, I'm glad to hear that you're finding your voice. :)
musings
— Dec 17, 2009
we have love of other; and love of self ; then we have the golden middle way : love of truth (LOT) - indeed the 'love of self' movement - the 'I am Me s' appears to have played itself out - the other option 'love of other' appears more noble yet can tend to sentimentality or something like that - it might dare it be said even be a position which at least in part maintains the patriarchal order - indeed, Neitzche, describes truth beautifully - a child that would cry overloudly
"WHY stealest thou along so furtively in the twilight, Zarathustra?
And what hidest thou so carefully under thy mantle?
Is it a treasure that hath been given thee? Or a child that hath
been born thee? Or goest thou thyself on a thief's errand, thou friend
of the evil?-"
Hi Echibee. I think there's
— Dec 18, 2009
Hi Echibee. I think there's an inherent "razor's edge" built into the entire endeavour of life and consciousness, or perhaps something more like a great wave that we surf. On the one hand, we actually need to love ourselves enough that we are full from the inside and genuinely have love to share. At the same time, we actually need to share and extend that love in order for us all to support the larger body of the global human community.
I know that I'm on about this relationship to the body metaphor, just because it seems to be working so well for me! I've been seeing so much of the micro - macro connection that I'm going to keep pushing this one as long as it works. So here goes...
The way a cell appears to us is somewhat like a blob, a cell membrane with organs inside, at least one of which emits light (DNA). This cell membrane has a certain level of integrity that enables it to maintain its shape, yet permeable enough to deal with its waste products and take in nourishment from the environment. That's the micro-scale. Now take the human creature. The mystics and shamans tell us they see a blob shaped, light emitting blob with assorted organs inside. They tell us that when a person's integrity is low, there are leakages in the membrane/auric energy fields, and when the integrity is high, there is the same kind of balance that we can see in the healthy cell.
Self-aware with boundaries of integrity. Self-correcting, able to maintain balance and equilibrium independently, and cooperate with others in the environment to move through space, and so on, and so forth.
Sound plausible? I'm trying to shift attention away from subjects that we use in a judging fashion and onto "universals", things that anyone can see, understand, and relate to.
