choice

Earlier this year a friend, a soulmate really, passed away unexpectedly at a fairly young age. I was a bit shocked because I had known this friend for most of my life and expected to live into old age sharing observations on the journey of life with her.

And then she was gone.

I felt as if something had been taken from me. But then a new thought arose in me, that she still existed right there, inside of me, and not even death could take that away from me, only I could do that. And it made me rethink the concept of choice and here is what I learned and wanted to share:

Why do we make things so hard on ourselves?

I think we do it because in this difficulty we find meaning. We begin to rely on the rigidity of dificulty to define ourselves.

But we have other choices.

I have a choice of how I feel in any given moment and I can change. With awareness comes the choice. No one else has this choice over me. No one controls how I feel or what I do.

Now, in relationship to my fundamental definition of myself, I still have this choice, it's just a bit tricky because I use this difficulty to define myself and making another choice seems to threaten my foundations, but what if I were to try it?

Four stages:

1 awareness - becoming aware of your self. Noticing your body, your feelings, the connection between the two.

2 determination - becoming aware that you have a say in how you feel, how you hold your body, you can change these things

3 - responsibility - becoming responsible for how you feel, owning it

4 - desire/expectations - asking yourself what you want

5 - exploration - the world of possibilities and potential becomes apparent

Something that causes pain or suffering is an opportunity to learn, a gateway to knowledge or growth. Do not let it have power over you, but learn it's lessons and let it go.

Knowing that I am responsible for how I feel and that I have a choice in the matter has really opened up how I deal with the world, both in the small and in the big. I would love to hear others thoughts on this.