Be the Change You Want to See in the World

Great post! It amazes me how many people on this site are rude, degrading, or negative to others, in the name of "evolution".

It is my hope that, through the interactions with some of the kinder minds on this site, those who are brilliant [but not awake] will learn the most important lesson to be found here or anywhere: kindness is worth more than anything. If you want to be negative and argue then how are we different or evolving? That makes us just another group of assholes being negative on the internet. Evolution in my opinion is much more about recognizing the value in ourselves and others.

I notice that when I read nasty posts here, it makes me want to post more nasty comments! And the more often I read negative things, the more negative I become in my assessment of others. Thank you for helping keep us all aware of the contagion of our actions with one another.

“An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come.”-Victor Hugo

Stuart, thanks - I also appreciated the post.

First, yes I agree that being POSITIVE is just as infectious as its opposite. It IS hard to remain angry with someone (in that moment anyway) who's just made you laugh or inspired you to something beautiful.

The matter of negativity which you raised was of great interest to me. I have thought for some time that my REACTION to the rudeness, aggression, intimidation etc of a host of individuals in many different settings has been wanting for some time now; I simply DO NOT APPLY enough, that which I espouse-namely 'ending the chain' as you so aptly put it. Herein lies real power: Having the personal joy and confidence to overcome the shadow and trandscend the fear of the ego's fragile self-image construct and to become, NOT BETTER THAN, the 'other', but - in a limited and temporary way - Christ. That is, the conduit for 'the God-incarnate'.

I have found that the more I have practiced, the more I have succeeded in escaping the smaller self, the dark one. This is the possesion of practically every person.

Another thing I would like to throw into this thread is this: Have you ever noticed in yourself, the effect of a kindness meted out to you? Have you been on the point of rage and someone just lights you up with an effacing gesture UNACCOMPANIED by smugness, self-service or superiority of any detectable kind? If you have allowed such grace to saturate into your heart, you may have come to realise that this goodness moves you to greater acts of thoughtfulness, tolerance and forebearance. Most of all, it moves you to disengage the ego for a while; exactly for how long perhaps depends upon the extent of out emotional and spiritual growth.

Something, a small occurance, happened to me yesterday: I was being tailgated by a headthumping, wheel-tapping, gum-chewing driver. The lane speed limit was reduced from 70mph to 50mph and, of course, this has an irritating effect on everybody. My fellow motorist clearly reasoned that the few feet of increased proximity to my rear bumper (and rear-seated children) was going to gain him something to offset the reduction in speed levied at us all and thereby reduce his journey time.

My old, well-established driving feelings began as they always do: more frequent glances into the rear-view mirror; a shallowing of the breath, a decrease in my capacity to talk lovingly and gently to the children and overall, a DECREASE in my overall road sense, alertness and driving capability.

By the time of the arrival of my intercessor, I had, I must confess, uttered some quiet expletives and sunk into my seat, awaiting the opportunity to roll down my window and give my bumper hugger a piece of my mind. The children had by now detected my abrupt change of disposition and had quietened down to a meek chittering to each other: they know daddy was brewing and may explode.

This is, as always, embarrassing and shameful to admit: that my children have to put up with this nasty little small-minded reactionist. But allow me to re-introdue this intercessionary miracle: From a filter-lane (a slipway onto the freeway for you non-UK readers), a woman pootled along and signalled to come on. I slowed up to allow her on and, in so doing, forced the car behind me to bring his speed down. I checked my mirror and noted his hands off the wheel in the plaintive fashion, shaking his head in the all-too-familiar "Oh dear, MUST I have to each ALL of you how to drive?" configuration of gestures. My new motorway neighbour trunding towards onwards must have somehow also noted the frustrated fiddlings of my rear driver and just looked accross at me, shot the widest smile and raised one hand from her wheel and rolled her eyes in a most exaggerated fashion before making that childrens' 'monster face' with eyes open wide and hands (still contacting her wheel) in a mock throttling pose.

So the occupant, with her light, breezy, uncomplicated and disengaged charm, proved enough to break my own little chain which I'd been happily (yes, I say 'happily' despite the apparent contradiction in states of mood at play here): suddenly everything dark and serious just fell apart and I 'gave up' my anger and saw myself in my seriousness as an overgrown boy, full of self-concern, fear and defensiveness. I raised a hand in grateful acnowledgement and laughed back, breathing in deep as my sense of care and regard for others began to return. The car behind me accelerated into the outside lane and past me. He made a rude gesture and probably continued to reprimand other road users for similar vehicle-related indolence and idiocy.

In any event I'd obtained a great lesson from the happy motorist: I'd seen myself in both the threatening to plow through my rear and a more hopeful, optimistic and loving woman who appeared literally from my left-field. I choose to rate her and my encounter with her as important, life-changing. She had re-facilitated my capacity to laugh at the demon in all of us; to leave him behind and move towartd something better and more enduring: joy and humour.

So a thank you to Stuart and Meg for the initial post and the following thread which appeared in my Evolver stories! You made me think again about my experience and reaffirm something I want to apply to myself a great deal more. Tolerance and humour.