To own one's self.

Recently, I've had two friends make comments regarding ownership of self.

The first is someone who has had trauma in her life and after a massive Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon was cleansed in a sense, and empowered. She said to me, crying... "This is MY body" She finally understood what that meant. She's still in the process of sorting through everything, but I'm so glad that this moment happened for her.

My other friend made a post in the blogosphere saying "This is MY mind..." and declaring her possession of it, holding it sacrosanct in terms of her power over it. Nobody can take it away.

And I began to think about my own issues regarding these things. I'm still not certain I fully comprehend what it is I'm supposed to learn, but the fact these statements were made around the same time and deal with the same theme, even if for totally different reasons, leads me to see a finger pointing in a direction for me to follow.

One of my biggest issues is will-power, or rather, the lack thereof. How much of my life is controlled by externalities? I will tell you: A LOT.

This ties in with the themes of respect, love for one's self and others. "how can you love someone if you don't love yourself"

I am a dreamer, and too often I let my dreams slip away. I do not control them, I do not exert effort to make them real. Too often I let the mundane intrude in my vision of existence.

These are MINE. I will take them, I will make them...

Simply... I will