Living my life, Doing my part

I like many people had been blind by the "modern societies" vision of what people should want out of life. I had gotten myself worked into such a difficult situation and had become depressed. I lost my way and with my family pushing me to succeed in life (the way they thought I should succeed) I just withdrew into my own mind contemplating the reality of the world around me. I have always been a person who spends more time thinking about things than I ever would spend on doing anything. As I said before, I was depressed and my life was going nowhere. I lost all sense of direction, I lost the ability to reason what was right or wrong (never doing anything illegal but struggled with jobs and failed relationships). Recently, however, I came to have an epiphany that has cured my depression and given me a direction in life. It may sound depressing but the experience I had that opened my eyes to the reality of the situation happened late at night one evening. I was outside smoking a cigarette just staring up at the night sky and a thought came over me. I realized that in the grand vastness of the universe my life and anything and everything I do with my life doesn't matter... not even one little bit. Now you may think a thought like that would only deepen my depression but in fact it did the exact opposite. Almost immediately after thinking this I felt a large weight lift off my shoulders. I no longer felt bogged down by everything that was the modern world. I realized that all the pressure my family put on me didn't mean anything and that the "failures" I had experienced didn't matter either. I was where I was in my life and that was right where I was supposed to be. Nothing has really seemed to bother me since I had this epiphany.

Once I woke up and saw the truth (or my own version of the truth) I started to see how out of tune with nature I was and decided I was going to start doing some research on living more sustainably and be more in tune with nature. While doing my research I came across a documentary called '2012: Time For Change' featuring Daniel Pinchbeck. The message in that documentary spoke to me more than anything else I had come across in my research. Because of this documentary I actually found this site. It also inspired me and helped me find my path or rather a vision of how I want to live my life. I realized that my calling in life was to travel around the country and maybe even the world helping small communities and large communities develop a more green way of living. My thought process is that renewable energy together with sustainability should make life easier for communities in a point in time where most states are broke if you spread ideas of sustainability and renewable energy and involve the community and the youth of the community then these towns and cities should be able to save money and in turn should hopefully save their respective states money which should mean that more tax revenue will be available to do more things to help more people and to develop renewable energy and sustainability projects on a state level. So now I am working on learning how to produce Biodiesel and am looking to save up money to buy a diesel powered RV and travel around the country going from place to place working with communities and making the world a better place. If I ever happen to find myself in your community I hope you will join me in my efforts or you will allow me to assist you in any efforts you might be undergoing at that point in time.