Losing yourself; finding yourself

After finally getting out of a particularly destructive relationship, moving back home to Boston, taking a few days to just breathe, and doing a lot of journaling, I still don't understand how its so easy to loose yourself in another person. Or how perspectives become so warped when you become emotionally involved with another person. Granted this is one of the first serious relationships Ive had, I never had a father figure to form a good relationship model from, and this was a particularly "unhealthy" relationship. Still, I am wondering how someone who has always been so determined, motivated, and, I guess, smart, had such a hard time keeping those qualities alive when involved in a romantic relationship.

I think maybe more so I, or the Libra in me, is wondering how the balance can be so unbalanced. How one person can pick up a dominator role and the other fall into the submissive role - even without noticing. I could never act aggressively or controlling towards another person, especially a person I "love." I use that word very loosely right now as love in the romantic sense...not really doing it for me. However, in that sentence, I find I am reminded that Love in the broader sense is the soul fulfilling, fingertip-tingling, essence of life that no one can take away from you. The real shit- the good stuff :)

I'm aware that I'm working through this school we call life, and I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned, and continue to learn everyday. In particular, right now, I'm grateful for the ex-boyfriend who has taught me so much. I'm also exceptionally grateful to be safe at home, In a place I love, with a new day on the horizon.
I'm a huge writer in the private journal sense, however I've never written a blog. With the "communication issues" I have sometimes...this could be a good thing. Lovely Life. Love Life.