Who Would Jesus Shoot?

It was last year, San Antonio, Texas, hot as a horned lizard's lips caught in a heat lamp. I did something that day that normalcy never allows me to do (my normalcy anyways, maybe not yours.) I, Chris Campbell, even after my Mormon debacle (which I talk all about in This Book is Not Real, in the section titled, The Mormon Wet Dingle Contest), went to church, granted it wasn’t really that willingly.

Just like any other time I go to church, I left feeling disappointed and misunderstanding of what religion truly represents. I have, what I feel to be a healthy criticism of what our religions have come to be. My views on religion aren't a byproduct of pre-pubescent rebellion, or just a way to be 'edgy' and 'cool,' I have some valid concerns about what religion, namely Christianity in American culture, has to offer to our culture, and whether its force is more destructive than helpful, so I’m a little on guard as I step into the church,

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen! Have a seat! Feeeeel the Holy Spirit! WHOOOOOOOOOHOOOO!" Says the honky-tonk double-breasted preacher, who reminded me more of a bad Elvis impersonator than a spokesman for a divine being whose omnipotence is incomprehensible.

"Ok" I thought, “I like his enthusiasm, he's a little dramatically theatrical for my taste. No problems.” But, I knew it was coming…I tried to be as objective as possible, but I knew that this guy was going to say something insanely ignorant...I didn't want him to, there was a part of me that wanted him to prove me wrong. I didn't want another preacher to spout wild and impractical ideas, the kind that make me want to strip naked, grab a wooden t and run throughout the church screaming in tongues, in a blind maniacal manner. Merely to show the churchgoers how I have come to view religion. Theatrics. But, God didn't heed my hope that insanity wouldn't rear its thorn-covered head when the pastor dramatically said,

"Before we start the sermon, I want all of the military veterans to stand up for me. Please, stand. Ladies and Gentlemen, I want you to take a look around at God's Warrior's! Defending Christian values, morals and freedoms! Please give these fine men a round of applause!"

"You have got to be ducking kidding me." I said, frozen in time watching the train-wreck, hoards of people clapping, praising and hollering for guys who were bribed in a shitty economy, and brainwashed into thinking killing is a glorious thing to do 'for' the country. Especially since it is an unjustified war, with about as much purpose as a rubber crutch. I was instantly offended, not one US soldier has killed anyone 'for' me; how dare that pastor put that blood on my hands.

This may seem harsh, and may seem a little dramatic itself, but I don't think it is nearly critical enough in light of our current situation, with the estimated upwards of a million deaths of civilians and soldiers overseas, the constant ridiculousness of over-the-top "getting the job done" antics that make Americans look like uncontrollable cavemen with assault rifles, and the reputation Americans have now to the rest of the world (that it is certain we are nowhere near done making asses of ourselves.)

Relevantly speaking, the WikiLeaks footage of men carelessly shooting civilians and journalists out of a helicopter with an undertone of pure enjoyment, kind of the same sickly nonchalant attitude a poacher in Africa would have shooting animals for a stuffed head on his wall shows precisely what is left to support. All the while, this exact mind-state is being portrayed as OK by religious authorities, making it seem 'holy' even, I am ducking fed up...and you should be too.

Fun Fact: It is Christian Conservatives who made up the largest group of supporters of the Iraq war.

I cannot join an institution whose main tenets explicitly state everything that war is not, then hypocritically and blindly support an unjustified war. It is religion I feel like I should be able to, and should want to turn to when mass protesting is necessary, when our government crosses the boundaries of our Christian-based countries' morals and values. It is the church where I want to feel inspired to do what is right, but it is the church where I leave feeling empty and dull. Hypocrisy. It's what's for dinner.

ONE.

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