In order to not lose myself to the things going on in my life right now, I am moving to Tucson, Arizona. I was just wondering if anyone on Evolver knows of any groups or anything within the area. I need to imerse myself around like minded people so I do not lose myself in this process. It has been a wonderful journey with my partner but I am sad to say that it has come to an end.

I've been searching my refridgerator, google, television, evolver, books, and my soul for this next wave of utter enlightenment. I have sought out an indescribeable feeling of joy, peace, and certainty. I never feel better than when an amazingly direct connection of myself and the cosmos aligns.

Well, here I am again. Unsure of the reason I am blogging. Although, that same uncertainty is the same reason I am here. Since I woke today at 6:30 a.m. I have had this deep and profound heavyness. Not the typical emotional nonsense, but a huge realization of self/being/spirit and the journey I am on. I have a feeling as to why this has come into being. I fell off of my intensly guided path.

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For those who have not seen this site, check it out.

I have lost the inspiration to write this very blog. I have sat here for well over a half hour typing and deleting. I am at a loss of words due to the battle raging within myself. I know to be true, positive thinking is the key. Yet, while somewhere deep in the crevasse's of my inner working partially unconscious brain negative thoughts are beaming through.

I have been reading a book of mine that was given to me as a present just last night. In the book it speaks of eating raw because raw foods hold the enzymes that our bodies need to maintain a healthy and stable immune system without the antibiotics doctors give us. Recently, my partner has been thinking about completely detoxifying his body which I was quick to sign on for.

I find it harder each day to live in a world so much more different than the one I want to paint for myself. For so long we have all been conditioned to think and feel a certain way about things. While trying to diminish these thoughts of others it's like a battle within myself.

I spent the past few days catching a glimpse of what my ideal life should be like. I also spent some time in someone else's shoes, getting to see what it's like to stand in line waiting for free food. I am actually glad I got to experience what that is like for others who are not as well off as I am.