Seeking Inspiration

I've been searching my refridgerator, google, television, evolver, books, and my soul for this next wave of utter enlightenment. I have sought out an indescribeable feeling of joy, peace, and certainty. I never feel better than when an amazingly direct connection of myself and the cosmos aligns. Often it appears in the most obvious of places, striking me to the core of my existence, and yet it sometimes takes months to reappear. It feels like a loss of direction, or motivation. When I truly let go of this mundane every day life drama and give in to this universe I am somehow magically connected to where I wanted to be all along. The ability to spot out these trigger points that are laid out in front of us is the ultimate key to the success of finding this enlightenment. This temporary loss of direction can last for months, and sometimes it can seem like it's lasting for months. All I can describe it as is this sense of sychronistic magic and sought out destiny comes into alignment with the universe and arranges itself just for you. But when this feeling is lost, an overwhelming sense of "Are we there yet?" comes over me. I have been doing what I need to as far as fixing our camper is concerned but it doesn't feel as good as it should. Everytime it disipates I yearn for the next arrival, almost like a normal child would await christmas the night before. If only there were a way to lose all debt virtually over night and then I'd be able to be on my way.
I cannot begin to describe the exhileration and freedom I felt when my partner and I decided to spontaneously pack our things and move away. Just to have that power over your own life, and not let other things determine it for you, is and was absoluetly amazing. Maybe that right there is the key, not letting other things determine your path, but for you to over ride and take over. So here I am--Mind and eyes wide open for the next gnarley wave to ride...