Unlearn, Cleanse, Rebirth.

Well, here I am again. Unsure of the reason I am blogging. Although, that same uncertainty is the same reason I am here. Since I woke today at 6:30 a.m. I have had this deep and profound heavyness. Not the typical emotional nonsense, but a huge realization of self/being/spirit and the journey I am on. I have a feeling as to why this has come into being. I fell off of my intensly guided path. The last time I blogged, I was living in Florida and moving away to start a new life and new adventures. For awhile everything is wonderful and eventually I would catch myself slipping...such as television, drinking carbonated drinks, eating unhealthily, laying around ALL day doing absolutely nothing while letting my brain rot, oh and I didn't mention that I've gotten a job that I have no interest in so here I am selling myself for some minor monatary gain...yet again. Until today, it didn't seem to matter but when I woke this morning I felt the difference...that uneasy, off-kilter, almost dizzy feeling that you just know something is going on. It's so fucking unbelievable how easy it is to let go of everything, all of the months you spent un-learning everything society programmed into you. The best thing about what is happening is that my partner and I have our camper, we have been remodling it for about a week and a half now..Which is wonderful because that means we haven't completely lost touch with our journey all together.
All of the things I planned on doing here just never happened and turned into the procrastinations of tomorrow. So, here's to taking back my soul and working towards my dreams instead of living in a false reality. Some of you that chose to read this may be wondering what the point of this entire blog is...I guess it's about gaining self control and KEEPING it, rather than letting it slip so easily. I'm thankful I came to this point sooner rather than later.

It's like hitting a wall that is consistantly inconsistent. Every time I get off of the path I know to be true in my heart I have this same heavy feeling, almost like a reminder of sime kind telling me to jump back on before it's too late. Sorry to anyone if this blog seems pointless and lacking in new ideas or thoughts...But maybe this can keep someone else from slipping off of their path the same way I had mine. It's almost kind of embarrassing really, to think that I was blind this entire time to just letting it slip. This is no time to be lazy, harder times are coming and this is just a test of my strength.

City life is just not for me. I dream of open wilderness, lush soil for vegatation, often cold and bitter nights, and being able to walk for miles in all directions without seeing concrete buildings. The only way I want to live is sustainably and in harmony with the land. That right there is what drives my soul wild and brings me close to tears. No more traffic, no starbucks, no mcdonalds, no conforming..Just freedom.