Being thankful shouldn't be something we remember just a couple of times a year on holidays. Gratitude is a way of life. Finding something to be thankful for in every situation and experience opens our hearts, expanding our awareness of our reality and enabling us to find joy even in the worst times.

Slaughtered love 11-12-11

My heart beats
outside my chest
raw, exposed
bleeding, spilling
a welcome mat
wipe your feet
go ahead
grind me down
to nothingness
then walk away
satisfied
you killed me
spared the world
from my insanity
of love and light.

Walk tall
of course you're right
pure love is fake
and so is fate
there is no light
at the end of the day
its just me

I started to write to share my thoughts on the things happening in our little world and do so without spilling myself, my heart and my beliefs all over the pages, but I just cant do it.

For days now I have been overcome with despair, anger, frustration and even hopelessness. I try to find my center and stay there, but am unable to accomplish this monumental task. There is just too much going on. Too much going on inside my head and heart, too much in the world, the universe, everything.

Recently my family held their 96th reunion, and in an attempt to come out of seclusion I drug my husband and sons out to spend 3 fun filled days camping with 40 related strangers. This was not our first rodeo so we all knew what to expect. Thus I spent 2 full weeks micromanaging every last detail of our excursion.

I've had an amazing experience, at least for me it has been amazing. I am uncertain how to put into words this lightening bolt of confirmation that has jolted and consumed my thoughts. Joyously validating my inner intuitions in the embodiment of a complete and utter stranger in the most unlikely place, the grocery store. We very nearly crashed out carts into one another coming around an end cap.

People often ask me why I feel that I need to be so transparent in my writing. Why I feel such an overwhelming desire to be understood. So I ask myself why?

I have sitting here this morning reading all the wonderful blogs, and I am overwhelmed by how we are experiencing the same concerns, desires and love.. I wish with all my heart that I could wrap my arms around each and every one of you, alas I am one little woman.. But I can give you a collective virtual hug...

From my heart to yours!