Ayahuasca as a Cure for Depression - Part 2

Read Part 1 of this article here

Part 1 of this article presented the findings of a study on ayahuasca and depression. Part 2 continues with a presentation on how clients at the Hummingbird Ayahuasca Retreat and Healing Center reported the significance of the same essential characteristics of experience. For the Hummingbird clients, I will present the findings as a percentage of those who indicated Significant (S), Moderately Significant (MS) or Not Significant (NS).

** All clients reported a new ease being around other people, and the ability to be more spontaneous, more naturally themselves without first thinking about how others may respond to them.

These findings are inferred from our case notes and our memories of the client’s transformations while at the Hummingbird Center. Though admittedly error prone and almost certainly biased toward the positive, nevertheless, my partner and I believe it is at worst a reasonably accurate depiction of their experience of these essential characteristics, and most likely a very good one. The reports of our clients are clearly weighted toward “Significant in your experience” when compared to those of the study in both the Ayahuasca Experience and Outcome of the Experience categories. Compared to the study, our group of clients had a greater commonality of the experience of ayahuasca itself, and in the outcomes of their healing process. I would like to propose some possible explanations for this difference, primarily focused on possible differences of set and setting.

The paper indicated that no report of setting was alike for its participants. “Settings included a context of the religious and community, a shamanic circle or in the Santo Daime church, as well as more isolated settings, a self-made bonfire and an apartment in San Francisco. In the former, a more experienced guide was present and in the latter, participants were primarily alone in their encounters.” The paper provides no description of the supporting environment in which ayahuasca ceremonies were held. As such, no comparisons can be made between the supporting environment at the Hummingbird Center, and those of the study’s participants. Yet I would like to list some environmental and contextual factors we believe are important contributors to the success we have had at the Hummingbird Center.

1. Our clients were all at the same center, working with the same healers, with similar programs of treatment, and drank ayahuasca made by the same ayahuasquero.
2. The supporting environment, specifically conversations about how the medicine works to heal and the types of experiences one may expect to have under the influence of ayahuasca were consistent across the client base.
3. We hold a circle meeting the morning following each ceremony in which participants are encouraged to share their experience and how they believe it relates to their healing process. In listening to others, they invariably discover they are not so different. They quickly bond with others in the group, and are able to relax and be themselves without fear of being judged.
4. Most of our clients showed up with a willingness to do whatever it took to heal. Several stated this was their last hope, and as such, were willing to undergo, if necessary, a “descent into hell” in order to be relieved of their depression.
5. Our clients came on personal healing retreats specifically to be cured from depression. This is different than “ayahuasca workshops” or “ayahuasca tours” in which large groups of people (15-25) participate in ceremony. Though we also offer workshop of similar style, ours are limited to 10 people. The pertinence of this is our clients get a great deal of personal attention by the shaman during ceremonies. The stays of the clients on personal retreats frequently overlap the workshop, but the small group size ensures they continue to get the attention they need.
6. After being examined in ceremony by our shaman, a personalized program is developed for each client, depending on causal issues identified by the shaman. This program always includes a dieta of at least one medicinal plant.
7. Clients on personal healing retreats are housed in a private tambo, set in isolation in the jungle. This provides a peaceful place for meditation and reflection on their experiences in ceremony.
8. My partner Tracie Thornberry has suffered from long term addiction issues, and I have suffered from, and been cured of, long term depression. We both have backgrounds in a variety of spiritual practices, and have extensive experience working with ayahuasca. Our backgrounds allow us to be skilled guides through the process of working with ayahuasca, helping our clients understand their experience, and assist in alleviating the fear and emotional distress that invariably arises.
9. We spend a lot of one on one time with our clients, frequently several hours a day. This is in the form of both casual conversations in our common areas, and also in private sessions with Tracie who is a licensed counselor specializing drug and addiction therapy. This extensive time with our clients is the reason we are confident that the ratings assigned to the essential characteristics of experience are accurate.
10. Most of our clients arrived willing to do whatever it takes to be healed. This is very important, because it helps eliminate resistance to the frequently unpleasant experiences that arise under the influence of ayahuasca. Allowing the medicine to do what it wants is an important factor in being healed.
11. While at the center, we keep the focus on the client’s healing process. They are encouraged to fully feel what arises, and to articulate those feelings. Having been through it ourselves, we are able to create a safe environment for people to experience painful or unfamiliar emotions.
12. Our clients typically come for an extended period of time. Two weeks is the minimum length of time we accept for a personal healing retreat. Most have stayed for at least three weeks, and a few for four.

We believe all of the above are important factors in the success we have enjoyed treating people with depression. With this type of work in particular, the importance of a willingness to do whatever it takes cannot be overstated. In our experience, people who suffer from depression often have extremely difficult and terrifying experiences with ayahuasca. While these types of experiences can happen with anyone, they are clearly more frequent and more severe for those suffering from depression. It is not rare in our experience, after the first few ceremonies, for someone to say they never want to take ayahuasca again, however when they persevere they find their experience improves.

Ayahuasca works on people in a very individualized way. Though there may be similarities, no two people’s experiences are the same. Additionally, no one person’s experience is the same from one ceremony to the next. It is highly personal, which is not surprising when you consider ayahuasca provides access to hidden regions of one’s mind. Nobody can predict what another will experience when they take ayahuasca. Nevertheless, we have noticed a pattern in the healing process of many of our clients. This pattern may be summarized simply as “you may feel worse before you feel better”.

Several of our clients have experienced an intensification of their symptoms after the first few ceremonies. The second in particular seems to be a crisis point. They report feeling more anxious, lethargic, depressed and confused. Much of this is brought on by what they are shown by ayahuasca. It is very common for people to revisit traumatic events of their childhood, to be shown aspects of themselves they do not like, or experience a lot of dark imagery. Some feel their primary depressive symptoms at a level of intensity far greater than they have ever experienced in normal life. My personal experience in my third ceremony was of the deepest, darkest depression I had ever known. I was certain it would never change, that my situation was completely and irrevocably hopeless, and all I wanted was to die. We have had a few clients see in their visions that ayahuasca was an evil force out to destroy the world, and that it was going to cause them to go insane.

Such experiences do not motivate one to continue taking ayahuasca. Revisiting past traumas and being shown our shadow side clearly can help a person see themselves and past experiences from a different perspective. Finding benefit in the frightening visions is more difficult, and remains a bit of a mystery. Yet they seem to be an integral part of the healing process. Time and again we have seen people go through several extremely difficult ceremonies, and then something shifts in a subsequent ceremony. They have a breakthrough of self-understanding and of how events in their lives have shaped them. With this breakthrough, they are able to set aside negative thought patterns and beliefs, and participate in life in new, more positive and constructive ways.

Three of our clients were truly terrified at the thought of taking ayahuasca again, and sat through at least one ceremony without drinking. It took a lot of encouragement from myself and my partner Tracie, along with hearing first-hand accounts from other clients about the benefits they received, for these clients to decide to continue with the process. Having been through it ourselves and witnessed this process many times before, we were eventually able to persuade these individuals that their next ceremony was unlikely to be as terrifying, and that positive change would come. Yet, without a deep desire to heal, without the willingness to do whatever it takes to find relief from their suffering, it is unlikely they would have summoned the courage to continue.

One of our clients had been on medication for 20 years, and had been working with his current therapist for the past 10. Before coming to our center he consulted his therapist, and went off his medication, as many anti-depressant drugs are dangerous to take with ayahuasca. Upon returning, his therapist told him his time here had brought him to a place the therapist had been trying to get him to for the past ten years, and advised him to not resume his medication. Four months later, he remains off medication and has taken up a spiritual practice, meditating twice a day.

I asked a current client being treated for depression if he would provide a brief description of his experience I could use in this article. I gave him no information about the content of the study, or this article, just that it was about ayahuasca and depression. Here is what he wrote: “Ayahuasca pulled me out from the rut of self-destructive thought and behavior paths that were my depression. It opened up new paths for me to find and gave me the tractions of strength and determination to explore them.” If you return to the original quote I included from the study, I believe you will see a remarkable similarity to what this client wrote and the study author’s conclusions from a review of the existing literature.

Our experience at the Hummingbird Center leaves us convinced that ayahuasca can cure depression. The results of Lisa Palladino’s study reinforces that conviction. Additionally, it reinforced our own insights into how people experience the healing process, along with outcomes beyond the lifting of depression. I suspect that if the study were replicated with a larger sample size, it would yield similar results, and most of the same essential characteristics of experience. This supposition is informed by participant feedback from the 160 plus ceremonies in which I drank ayahuasca.

I am well aware that this article correlating the results of the Hummingbird Center with those of Lisa Palladino’s study does not prove ayahuasca cures depression. It is my hope it adds some support to the conventional wisdom that it does. More importantly, for those considering trying ayahuasca to get relief from their depression, I hope it has provided some good information that helps them make a more informed decision.

For those who do choose this healing path, I’d like to offer a few suggestions:

1. Find a center focused on healing as opposed to centers offering an ayahuasca experience to large groups of people. Though healing can and does occur in that setting, you are more likely to get positive results with an individualized treatment program.
2. Trust your instincts when choosing a center. There are many good ones available in the Amazonian region. Follow your heart.
3. TRUST the medicine. Accept what it brings you in ceremony and know it is for your healing.
4. Do not resist what happens in ceremony. Allow the medicine to do what it wants. If you resist, you will not receive the same degree of healing, and your experience will almost certainly be more challenging.
5. You do not have to like what happens, nor do you need to understand your ayahuasca experience in order to receive healing.
6. Come with a willingness to do whatever it takes to be healed.

Open your heart and mind to the unexpected. Find the courage to walk through your fears. Surrender to the mystery and magic of this ancient and sacred medicine. The worst that can happen is that you will lose your illusions and find your true self. And that can be terrifying indeed. As one participant described his experience, “It was horrible, and beautiful, and I am so grateful.”

Jim Davis and his business partner Tracie Thornberry are owners of the Hummingbird Ayahuasca Retreat and Healing Center in Iquitos, Peru. Jim is currently on a learning path to become an ayahuasquero. More information about the Hummingbird Center may be found on their website, www.ayahuascaRetreats.org.